Unless I know exactly what they’d like, I use this simple formula to buy presents.
Under 5 years old? Get them a really big Christmas card. Little kids never get mail, so they’ll love it. Give the parents the money you’d spend to get the kid whatever they actually need.
5 to 10 years? GI Joe or Barbie. It’s like getting someone in jail a carton of Kools; if they don’t want it themselves they can swap it in the yard.
10 to 20? Cash money. You can make it fancy by getting gold colored dollar coins putting it in a draw string purse.
Over 20? Booze. Unless they are a raging alcoholic.
The writer was in Italy and toured a particular olive oil producer. They told him he could have a case sent to the US for about $5.00 a bottle. He wasn’t a great cook, but it seemed like a good price and he didn’t want to look cheap, so he got a case.
Gets back home and he has a meeting with a contractor. They are walking through the kitchen and the contractor sees one of the bottles. Goes off. Apparently, this is the Ferrari of olive oils. The writer gives him two bottles.
The job, which he assumed would take six months, was done in two.
i was a christmas musician for a few years. 50-60 gigs from the saturday after thanksgiving til the weekend before christmas each year, occasionally a private christmas eve party if my family got to come too.
we were good and polished: we started practice for the season in june. i think it took a decade of that until i can do like, one or two christmas albums the entire season without losing my mind.
wife’s a good sport about it tho. the main trees are up and we’ve got a bunch of tabletops to still spread around, and we have a good-natured annual argument about whether the true queen of christmas is mariah carey or andy williams.
i am pretty much always in the mood for the harry simeone chorale though. their do you hear what i hear is a banger
Retail has toxified any and every holiday experience because every holiday is just “BUY BUY BUY!”
Halloween? “BUY CANDY! JUST BUY IT OH AND BUY CHEAP DECORATIONS AND TAT TOO!”
Thanksgiving? “BUY FOOD! BUY LOTS OF FOOD!”
X-Mas? “BUY EVERYTHING OR UNLESS YOU’RE A SOULLESS PERSON WHO DOESN’T BUY ANYTHING FOR THOSE YOU LOVE!”
Valentine’s Day? “BUY CHOCOLATES! BUY CHEAP TAT!”
And it just cycles through every year. And you get to witness so many idiots that continue falling for the same traps, just by coming into your store every day.
For me, the worst part of working retail at Christmas was hearing the exact same record played on repeat for eight hours straight.
It was years before I could listen to any Christmas music.
I’ve never worked retail, but I loathe Christmas music anyway. I fucking hate going shopping in the US between October and January.
Unless I know exactly what they’d like, I use this simple formula to buy presents.
Under 5 years old? Get them a really big Christmas card. Little kids never get mail, so they’ll love it. Give the parents the money you’d spend to get the kid whatever they actually need.
5 to 10 years? GI Joe or Barbie. It’s like getting someone in jail a carton of Kools; if they don’t want it themselves they can swap it in the yard.
10 to 20? Cash money. You can make it fancy by getting gold colored dollar coins putting it in a draw string purse.
Over 20? Booze. Unless they are a raging alcoholic.
Fancy olive oil, chocolate, tea, or coffee are good alternatives, depending on their tastes.
ooo, we have a decent press not too far from here. that’s an idea
Reminds me of a story I read a while back.
The writer was in Italy and toured a particular olive oil producer. They told him he could have a case sent to the US for about $5.00 a bottle. He wasn’t a great cook, but it seemed like a good price and he didn’t want to look cheap, so he got a case.
Gets back home and he has a meeting with a contractor. They are walking through the kitchen and the contractor sees one of the bottles. Goes off. Apparently, this is the Ferrari of olive oils. The writer gives him two bottles.
The job, which he assumed would take six months, was done in two.
Never underestimate the power of the right gift.
i was a christmas musician for a few years. 50-60 gigs from the saturday after thanksgiving til the weekend before christmas each year, occasionally a private christmas eve party if my family got to come too.
we were good and polished: we started practice for the season in june. i think it took a decade of that until i can do like, one or two christmas albums the entire season without losing my mind.
wife’s a good sport about it tho. the main trees are up and we’ve got a bunch of tabletops to still spread around, and we have a good-natured annual argument about whether the true queen of christmas is mariah carey or andy williams.
i am pretty much always in the mood for the harry simeone chorale though. their do you hear what i hear is a banger
Zoey Deschanel 's she and him album. On repeat. All month. I was there, man
I’m pretty sure she owes you a least one CENSORED and maybe some CENSORED.
why are we censoring apology and mansions?
Don’t ever change, innocent child
i got it, i just reject your reality and substitute my own. it’s pretty fun.
Retail has toxified any and every holiday experience because every holiday is just “BUY BUY BUY!”
Halloween? “BUY CANDY! JUST BUY IT OH AND BUY CHEAP DECORATIONS AND TAT TOO!” Thanksgiving? “BUY FOOD! BUY LOTS OF FOOD!” X-Mas? “BUY EVERYTHING OR UNLESS YOU’RE A SOULLESS PERSON WHO DOESN’T BUY ANYTHING FOR THOSE YOU LOVE!” Valentine’s Day? “BUY CHOCOLATES! BUY CHEAP TAT!”
And it just cycles through every year. And you get to witness so many idiots that continue falling for the same traps, just by coming into your store every day.