My cat is somehow bad at eating? He spreads wet food on the floor and leaves it there to dry out until I have to clean it up. He takes mouthfuls of dry food and carries them away from the bowl to dump them on the carpet, only to leave most of it there.
We’ve asked vets about it, but they don’t see anything wrong in his mouth, so… I guess he just likes doing it that way.
Edit: He seems to like the wet food, and he eats most of it, so I don’t think it’s done in protest. For the dry food, we gave him the widest bowl we could find, so his whiskers shouldn’t be hitting the sides of the bowl.
This is a fairly well-written and nuanced take that mostly aligns with my experiences.
I think this is one of the bigger parts of the issue. There seem to be two types of responses when men open up. One is to shut them down for one reason or another, and the other one is the manosphere saying “yes, that is a problem, and I have a solution”. That option is obviously going to be more appealing.
We need a third option of commiseration for problems without simple solutions. Guys need a space to vent about these issues, without it being seen as an effort to take those opportunities away from others. Of course, we need to pick our forum. Not every space is a place to vent frustrations, which is probably why you get rebuked.
So how do we develop the third option? Well, open up to your male friends. Ask them how they’re doing, and actually listen for an answer. If they just give you “I’m good, how about you?”, that’s your moment. It’s probably going to feel unnatural, and you might not get the response you’re looking for. If you’re worried about how it will be received, maybe start small. Explain something you’re concerned about. You can acknowledge solutions offered, but try not to focus on them. If you get shut down among your friends, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate that friend group.