Must be nice to work work in such an agile company. Around here, we need to produce an updated requirements specification. Review that specification internally. Send the updated specification out to stakeholders for review. Put a bug in the backlog. Wait until someone important files a new bug report (which is now an actual bug report). Actually produce a fix. Hold a change review meeting. Merge the fix. Test the fix. Fail during testing because the tester is new to the project and flags 100 critical bugs that have been sitting in the backlog for years. Ship a release. Receive a bug report that we no longer produce screenshots. Fly an engineer to location to investigate. Advice the customer to update a 5 line script to point to the new location. “We don’t have bandwidth to update that system.”. Hide the fix behind an obscure undocumented option that defaults to off. Ship an emergency bug fix. Wait for the next bug report. Close bug report as "user error. User forgot to set enable ‘screenshots are not videos’ flag in tweaks>advanced>video menu ".
Right…
We had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before we went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home… our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing “Hallelujah.”
Must be nice to work work in such an agile company. Around here, we need to produce an updated requirements specification. Review that specification internally. Send the updated specification out to stakeholders for review. Put a bug in the backlog. Wait until someone important files a new bug report (which is now an actual bug report). Actually produce a fix. Hold a change review meeting. Merge the fix. Test the fix. Fail during testing because the tester is new to the project and flags 100 critical bugs that have been sitting in the backlog for years. Ship a release. Receive a bug report that we no longer produce screenshots. Fly an engineer to location to investigate. Advice the customer to update a 5 line script to point to the new location. “We don’t have bandwidth to update that system.”. Hide the fix behind an obscure undocumented option that defaults to off. Ship an emergency bug fix. Wait for the next bug report. Close bug report as "user error. User forgot to set enable ‘screenshots are not videos’ flag in tweaks>advanced>video menu ".
Right… We had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before we went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home… our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing “Hallelujah.”
And you try to tell the young people of today that, they won’t believe you.
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