There are SO MANY bananas, but most people have only eaten the Cavendish. Awhile back, I got a box of assorted bananas from a farm that specializes in growing unusual fruit. I ate about twenty pounds of bananas in three weeks. So many fucking nanners spread across my entire kitchen countertop for weeks, ripening in stages.
My life has been a lie. Yours too. We’ve all been hoodwinked. We are getting fucked, and not in the good way, because Cavendish is a straight up garbage fruit. There are tiny tart toothsome Thai bananas, chunky Cuban, alluring Apple, beauteous burro, pleasurably plump Pisang, orally outstanding orinoco, mouthwatering Mysore, and the gustatorily magnificent Gros Michel, the OG mass production bananer, which was replaced by Cavendish in a mycological midlife crisis (I’m drunk and if I was a dinosaur, I’d be a tiny tenacious thesaurus tenuisi). Plus more. So many more. Fucking. Bananas.
They all taste like bananas, but each is a little
different, some more than others, but they all had more taste that those Cavendish fuckers. So get fucked Chiquita, Dole, and Del Monte. My banana bread sucks because of y’all.
So get this. Have you ever had Runts candy? If you or any other readers have, then you’ve likely noted that the banana candy just doesn’t taste right. That’s because it’s based on the original mass production banana, the Gros Michel, AKA the “Big Mike”. That’s a proper banana. Cavendish is shit but it’s the only type most people have eaten. They’ve eaten shit. Banana shit.
The following may not apply to you but may for others:
Saying you hate bananas when you have only tried cavendish is like saying you hate beer when you’ve only tried warm, flat Keystone Light.
Isn’t monoculture a plantation where you grow only one crop? At least in my language it is. But bananas are a genetic clone of their mother plant. That means all plants of one cultivar are n-tuplets, if I remember correctly.
Bananas are a monoculture. One good, hard hitting, lethal pathogen could extinct them.
There are SO MANY bananas, but most people have only eaten the Cavendish. Awhile back, I got a box of assorted bananas from a farm that specializes in growing unusual fruit. I ate about twenty pounds of bananas in three weeks. So many fucking nanners spread across my entire kitchen countertop for weeks, ripening in stages.
My life has been a lie. Yours too. We’ve all been hoodwinked. We are getting fucked, and not in the good way, because Cavendish is a straight up garbage fruit. There are tiny tart toothsome Thai bananas, chunky Cuban, alluring Apple, beauteous burro, pleasurably plump Pisang, orally outstanding orinoco, mouthwatering Mysore, and the gustatorily magnificent Gros Michel, the OG mass production bananer, which was replaced by Cavendish in a mycological midlife crisis (I’m drunk and if I was a dinosaur, I’d be a tiny tenacious thesaurus tenuisi). Plus more. So many more. Fucking. Bananas.
They all taste like bananas, but each is a little different, some more than others, but they all had more taste that those Cavendish fuckers. So get fucked Chiquita, Dole, and Del Monte. My banana bread sucks because of y’all.
Wake up babe, new copypasta just dropped 🍌
Goat banana post
What is your favorite banana and how do I get it?
I was told a story of a chef I knew about a small, purple banana that tastes like vanilla.
Did they say that the chef made them close their eyes before tasting it?
But banana tastes like crap. Give me one that doesn’t taste like a banana.
So get this. Have you ever had Runts candy? If you or any other readers have, then you’ve likely noted that the banana candy just doesn’t taste right. That’s because it’s based on the original mass production banana, the Gros Michel, AKA the “Big Mike”. That’s a proper banana. Cavendish is shit but it’s the only type most people have eaten. They’ve eaten shit. Banana shit.
The following may not apply to you but may for others:
Saying you hate bananas when you have only tried cavendish is like saying you hate beer when you’ve only tried warm, flat Keystone Light.
…again.
Isn’t monoculture a plantation where you grow only one crop? At least in my language it is. But bananas are a genetic clone of their mother plant. That means all plants of one cultivar are n-tuplets, if I remember correctly.
Just like rubber trees.