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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 29th, 2023

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  • I get you. Sorry for being terse.

    If ovulating folk in ‘western’ countries are to adopt 4b, you are right, we do need to update it to fit our understanding of feminism for it to be politically viable as a movement here.

    Trans men need to be included as ovulating folk at risk of pregnancy and trans women need to be included as women who are not at risk of pregnancy. (The pre-op rant you basically covered so I’m not going to rewrite again it in my own words.)

    I think this about covers the updating tbh:

    1: Don’t fuck Conservatives.

    2: Don’t have relationships with Conservatives.

    3: Don’t have relationships or encounters where PiV sex could impregnate you.

    4: Spousal rape happens more often than you think, so just don’t be in a relationship where pregnancy is possible.

    5: Don’t reproduce.

    6: Don’t be a bigot.


    3 and 4 could probably do with more eloquent wording as they could potentially be misconstrued in bigoty ways, but I think that about covers it.

    Then again, I’m not someone who has an easy time understanding what needs to be communicated to get a point across efficiently for most people to be able to understand it, so this really is basically just another rant on the internet at this point. And not to mention I’m waaay too autistic and traumatised to be political active beyond this anymore, idk, hopefully others are coming to the same conclusions and can spread the word I suppose.


  • I think you’re seeing bigotry where there was none intended. I was trying to make my language as clear as possible and obviously failed.

    Honestly, talking isn’t my strong suit, nor is trying to explain things to people looking to fault me at every turn.

    I could try and explain my point to you again about avoiding the possibility of pregnancy if your life is quite literally on the line, but I doubt it will change anything about how you read me.

    For what it’s worth, I am a queer afab who has had more than a few close relationships, and plenty of friendships, with both trans women and trans men, and have been an ally since I got into feminism as a young teen.


  • I’m not saying trans rights are unrelated to feminism.

    I’m saying that transphobic rhetoric has been shoehorned into this cause and has nothing to do with abstaining from PiV sex for the safety and respect of ovulating people.

    Also you may not be aware of how conservative South Korea is. There probably are more than a few transphobic 4b South Koreans as feminism as a movement is still newer there.

    In ‘western’ countries, radical feminism (with all its flaws) was an integral part of the cultural/philosophical journey into the 3rd wave and intersectional feminism as we know it today.

    It would be really nice if the gender critical terf bullshit could be skipped when other cultures journey into exploring feminism, but as conservative culture by definition has such deeply ingrained bigotry towards minorities, it might sadly just be inevitable.



  • If your country is banning abortion and restricting contraceptives, it’s not transphobic to avoid sex and intimate relationships with folk who could impregnate you.

    Please just take a moment to think it through.

    If you like somebody with opposed genitalia to yours and your country has banned abortion and restricted contraception- it is really not respectful (or sane!) to put one of your lives on the line for PiV sex with them.

    And just so we are completely clear about this: Trans men are men and trans women are women. Everyone should get to decide for themselves who they do and do not sleep with, and they should respect their potential partners wishes either way.








  • Is your kid neurotypical? If so it’s going to be much easier for you to move almost anywhere in the UK.

    If not, and/or if you can afford it, look into smaller private schools with lots of extra curricular activities going on. With the smaller class sizes, education and potential for assimilating with peers will be drastically improved for your kid, and you will have a much easier time meeting other parents and forming a community too.

    Otherwise state schools with lots of arts and sciences funding are probably your best bet, so look into that, find a good one and try to move to their catchment area.

    Also if you or your kid have any mental/health issues, get health insurance. NHS waiting lists are very long and the quality of service is often poor, especially for people in vulnerable situations and for visibly queer/trans/neurodiverse female presenting/bodied folk. Honestly, just get health insurance anyway if you can afford it, it should be cheaper here than in the US at least.

    Disclaimer: I’m neither a parent nor an American in the UK, but I am from here and went to a lot of schools as a kid (moved a lot) and I am queer.