Mark Fuck-a-Bird

Gump

My i’s are up here mister!

A baptism of fryer

“So today we pass an important bill to address nefarious government activities that we know are changing our countries climate. We will not tolerate any artificial means to alter weather.”

Everyone claps and congratulate each other on a job well done.

“Next, we are going to introduce severe penalties for any crazy scientists going around and scaring our states fine people with talk of climate change and blaming it on human activities.”

Everyone claps again.

Or “Tunnel Enthusiast”

It is already a well established fact that plants crave electrolytes.

It certainly does feel like they are pushing their confectionary product down our throats.

Edit: grammar

“Dear Mars, I was unable to enjoy my recently purchased Mars Bar as it was missing the trademark thick veins running down its shaft.”

Joe Bitin’

It should have been $Googol instead.

From creating toe tappers to taping her toes.

The father of IVF says a lot of shit.

Edit: missing of

I don’t need to read @America to know why you support Trump. We all know. All of us know Elon.

Either he fell asleep watching the movie below and confused it with his own reality, was inspired by it with his tactics to win elections, or Robin Williams is a time traveller.

“Man of the Year”, 2006, starring Robin Williams.

A comedian who hosts a news satire program decides to run for president, and a computerized voting machine malfunction gets him elected.

Edit: I can’t spell Williams apparently.