Democrats: we already know they’re pieces of shit

Republicans: Fox news tells me California deserves it.

We live in the post truth world, what you believe to be true is predetermined and nothing means anything that comes from outside your chosen propaganda outlet. :(

I will be Useless Man!

Radiation, super smell, syphon ability (there are no super heros so no abilities to syphon.)

I really hope I’m right, but I really don’t think Trump actually intends on doing this. I honestly think it’s more “drain the swamp” bullshit that he says to get people to vote for him and the sycophants that espoused all the shit they’d do in office were performing for a chance to be hired. He has no reason to go through with it since he can’t be reelected. If he’s going the dictator route then he won’t need to be reelected anyway he’ll just persist.

it’s either me or you but it can’t be both who will win

Others have covered potential answers, but this one part made me immediately think of an old trope in American cowboy media:

“you’re going to be tired of all the winning!”

-Trump

…yes… I’m very very very very fucking tired of Republicans “winning.”

I think I get what you mean, but for anyone else reading: Get cash back rewards!

I use my credit card for literally every single purchase I would normally make, paying bills and all, and I get between 1.5%-3% back. Obviously you never let interest accrue you just pay it off right away, but every few months I get essentially free money, usually $200+!

Magoo: “I like Trump because he’s anti-war. Demonrats would start WWIII.”

Trump: “GIMME EVERYTHING YOU GOT WORLD! I’M TAKING IT BY FORCE IF I HAVE TO!”

I’d give the sky the finger and then spend too much time wondering what perspective we’re even being viewed from.

I’d also probably start a diary, except every entry would be: “Fuck you people for creating a world like this. Do you enjoy the suffering of countless people? Turns out God really is a prick.”

“When Trump was running again for reelection, I really thought I had the best chance of beating him,” Biden said of his decision to run in 2020. “But I also wasn’t looking to be president when I was 85 years old, 86 years old. And so I did talk about passing the baton.”

So then why the fuck didn’t you let a proper primary happen grandpa!? Why didn’t you step the fuck down sooner!?

(Insert goose chasing meme here)

“A New York judge ruled that immunity does not apply until Trump is sworn in.”

Oh hey it’s Trumps literal bulletproof vest, delay!

It’s not like he used that for LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER THAT COULD EVER MAKE HIM FACE JUSTICE!

No. Never.

…JFC

"Though the inspector general’s office said it did not find evidence that any officials, even career officials, raised concerns at the time, the report said current and former officials more recently described the press release as “unusual and inappropriate.”

Well there it is. Of course the response is going to be “Naturally the BiDeN FbI would say that now!” :/

Supreme Court to take down the law as unconstitutional.

Oh I guess we’re going with that one then. :(

“Necromancer of the year being awarded to Bill Nye, delivered by the achievement that earned this medal: the animated corpse of Joseph Biden.”

“Soccer” is technically a slur for lower class football.

America: I’m not seeing the issue here.

:P

I think I always had the feeling he’d be sandbagged by the “liberal media”,

It’s really crazy how so called “left wing” MSNBC treated him after he started polling well. They ran all these “Bernie loves Castro” stories and one chucklefuck who’s name I’m forgetting basically said “if Bernie wins he’s going to put people like me up against the wall.” Invoking some imagery of firing squads…

After all that they kinda do deserve to be put up against the wall and at the very least have a gang of clowns throw pies at them and be shamed on national television lol

But not Trump. Trump only thinks about Trump. All the time.

It’s unashamedly crass and egotistical, and completely telling of the man’s ugly personality.

And not a single Magoo ever sees or accepts this reality. It’s absolutely astounding how blind they can be to a person that is so openly “themselves” right in front of you. :/

It just really sucks that he’s pretty much the only one.

It’s “funny” in a way that I never actually knew who he was prior to 2016, but once he ran for president I saw him and said “oh shit it’s that guy!” I had seen him in countless documentaries where there was a segment on how the government interacted with the subject of the documentary and he was ALWAYS on the “right” side of the subject.

That’s when I knew he’d never be allowed to be president.

Well now they won’t have any pesky “employees with integrity” who will point out a key witness was lying so they’ll get to have their paid liars come in and “provide Evidence™” that actually Biden Hussein Obama personally hired all the committee members assigned to the investigation and paid them to fabricate evidence.

Faux News will be feasting all through this next administration :(

Peace:

“Vision of Humanity 2024 Global Peace Index ranked 132nd out of 162 countries”

…yup. sounds about right. We’ve been at some kind of war for pretty much the entirety of our existence…

Time for the sharpie!

He’s going to pull out articles during press briefings with words crossed out in marker and with words added to make him correct.