A sail boat does the same distance for free

I was always interested in the joe rogan podcast before it was on Spotify, because how popular it was and how much there is. I like to listen to podcast when I’m at work, and I’m always on the lookout for new ones. When it finally came to Spotify i listened to it and was like: oh wow, it’s shit. Like there are podcasts that i don’t like, but i get why people like it, this is just straight garbage.

It’s weird. I mountainbike my whole life, i feel super weird not wearing a helmet. I wear a full face helmet on every trail. I ride sometimes on a lift where one of the best riders in europe practices. He wears a helmet from the car to the lift. But somehow he thinks he’s too good to wear a helmet. I often see people with child seat on their bicycles and the children wear helmets and the parents don’t. Where the hell is the logic there. If you ever drop on your head, your child sits in a puddle of your blood and waits until someone finds them?

We’re cool, we allow these pesky non smokers here.

One can only imagine what the vents looked like 🤮

My first flight that i was ever on was pretty much the last one that still had smokers on them, and the airplane definitely snelled like smoke. I remember my second flight, some guy lit up a cigarette and they explained him that smoking isn’t allowed anymore, and people were like: i fon’t care, let him smoke and shit. Insanity.

At least you would’ve died in style.

When i grew up, my friends parents owned a farm that was on top of a mountain, it was like a 10min drive up there on backroads. They drove around a beater car, something like a Suzuki swift. Sometimes we were allowed to ride on the hood, like a bunch of criminals in a 80’s action movie. I remember sitting on the roof once, holding on for dear life. I never really thought much about it, but i would never do that with my nephew. Not because i think they are soft and we were such a hard ass generation, because i don’t want to kill a child. It happens so fucking fast

Some people are beyond reason. Last year i bought a broken lawnmower from some lady, because i thought it’s a fun project to fix it. The lady was probably in her 60es. And one of the forst things she said to me was: no offence, but my generation in absolutely useless. Useless i thought, that’s pretty rich coming from someone that is close to morbidly obese, racist as fuck, lives on an absolute dumpster of a house that her husband probably bought for 300 dollars 40 years ago. She was the most useless person i have seen in a long ass time.

One of the last times i was in a restaurant where indoor smoking was still a thing, the waitress asked us if we want to be seated in a smoking or non smoking section. We picked non smoking, because, gross. We were right on the line between smokers and non smokers, and i sat back to back to a guy who chainsmoked when we were eating.

While i dislike tiktok as much as the next one, please do temu first. Temu might actually be the downfall of our planet that is already falling down the stairs pretty hard.

What a dumb thing to say honestly. My sisters boyfriend bought a old stupid pickup truck that doesn’t have seatbelts. He’s so proud of the fact that he doesn’t need seatbelts. I think it’s the main reason that he wanted that car. He drives around his children in it, and the previous owner had it all prepared that you could put in seatbelts, but he would rather die than use seatbelts. Same with helmets. They bought ebikes to go on rides, and everyone wears a helmet except for him. Hy sister tells him all the time to wear one. She has him as far now that he takes a helmet with him, but he’s not wearing it. A almost 50 year old man doesn’t want to look uncool on his bike.

People want everything to be reddit so hard.

My celebrity is better than your celebrity

You’re not allowed to dislike le epic band. You’re only allowed to dislike nickleback or the hivemind will lynch you.

A forum is social media? I don’t know any motherfucker here.

Well they should.

Start by putting cameras in his house

I was once tripping hard at a party, and they had a ceiling with some tiles with holes in them. So obviously i started counting them. I soon realised that it’s less of a counting thing and more of a math problem. I took some toilet paper and started scribbling down numbers. I remember as soon as i wrote all the numbers down, i didn’t really remember where the numbers even came from and why they are so important to me. When i had the final result, i wrote it on my arm and flushed down the toilet paper. Every few minutes i took a look at my arm and repeated the number in my mind.

At some point the police knocked on the door, because of a noise complaint. I thought it’s because they wanted the numbers and went to the toilet to scrub it off. And was so relieved that they are gone. Then i got mad at myself because i forgot tye numbers. I sat down at my place on the sofa, looked up and saw the holes and remembered, and had to laugh out loud.

The mirror dimension is the main reason i’m looking forward to mushrooms

This unlocked a memory of a punk show i was 15 or so years ago. It was a pretty small show of a local punk and Oi show. It was pretty damn bad, but the small show was packed with drunk as fuck oi punks. This was around the time i quit drinking, and everyone being super drunk inside, i often went outside to get some fresh air. I was outside with a friend when 4 neo nazis walked by, also super drunk, starting some shit. It was late and i assume they were on their way home. Since i was sober i just told them to get lost, because they are absolutely fucked if anyone saw them out here.

They left, but were still droning around, and suddenly they were twice as much and i knew that it’s gonna turn into a shitshow, so i went inside. On my way inside, two locally famous brothers who were twice my sice held me back, asking me: "where are the nazis? And i pointed outside. They said: “show me”, it the most serious voice i have ever heard from them. So i went outside, followed by two fridge sized guys. By that time, there were around 12 to 15 nazis outside. I tried to make a joke or something, but before i could open my mouth, they threw bottles and just CHARGED them. By that time, word got around and the whole venue inclusive the bands were there too. They ran off, some got fucked up, and i was quite literally the only sober guy there, so i kinda just followed them, like i was their caretaker or something. We chased them around.

Some of the guys were so hammered that they just face planted at full speed. It was a sight to behold. Some got away, but some didn’t and they got fucked up. Like i’ve seen people get punched in the face and i’ve been in brawls, but this was bad. So i did what i felt what i had to do and pulled some of the gus back. I yanked a guy who was probably the scariest dude i ever met in my life to this day and made him drop on his drunk ass. His aggression was suddenly pointed towards me. I thought great, now i’m gonna catch some fists, because i has helping a nazi, the very same nazi who called me a faggot not even half an hour ago. But there was no time to think about that, because some other dudes wanted a piece of these 5 or so remaining nazis. The scary guy had no voice anymore, grabbed me and i heard his fucked up voice saying, if you are helping them, you are against all of us. I pointed at the guy and said: you are gonna kill a guy today. And the guy looked FUCKED. so he suddenly sobered up, and said: i think you’re right. Police sirens went off and we scattered.

I felt like the biggest traitor for years, because to be honest, because i wanted to punch some nazis really really bad that day, but i did quite the opposite.