Ooh ah up da Ra!

Er…no… Not me…

DM me your card details and I’ll send you a couple of pints from my platypus farm.

As a platypus lays eggs and produces milk, it’s the only animal that can make its own custard.

Hear me out, but pickle pizza is pretty damn good. The sauce is mayo, sour cream, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper.

The paleo diet exists.

Has anyone asked the Polish if they’re ok?

(my posts were being ironic, sorry if you thought i was being sincere)

“Compassion” and “humanity”. What’s that? More communism?

Hol’ up, that sounds like communism.

Connected to this: Bluetooth headphones do not need, and never needed, a flashing LED while they’re in use. I would regulate this harshly.

The US election cycle is continuous. Someone will win in November, there’ll likely be some bullshit to keep it in the news until inauguration day, then give a week before the party that lost starts the process of finding their pick to contest the next election.

From a foreign perspective it’s tedious as fuck. Our elections are called and wrapped up within 8 weeks, and even that feels too long.

My TV is a smart TV whose smart features I never, ever use because the first thing it does is switch to the input my Apple TV is on.

Ironic really that the reason I chose an LG is because webOS seems less cunty than Android TV and whatever shit Samsung are offering. But I still never use it.