He’s never gonna stop dying on his voter fraud hill. At this point he’s needs to be institutionalized. Like in a hospital, with medication.

Where else are you gonna get your recommended daily allowance of Vitamin P while in space?

When I was that age it was Godzilla walking towards the shallow end.

Well that big ass asteroid was coming in 2012 so we had to make sure and be ready to catch it. But since it’s really big everybody had to work together to do so. Then we just yeeted that thing up like a volleyball and it went away. And that’s why we’re still alive today.

Hungry and bored. Borgry? Hured?

You forgot about the bitter garbage that’s inside of cabbage cultivars. If you’re a normal person you know that they taste like death. If you are a weird mutant you think they taste somewhere on a scale between acceptable and delicious.

That’s why I advocate for fines and penalties scaled to income and net worth, both personal and corporate. If you’re poor you should still be able to eat after paying a speeding ticket, but if you’re a billionaire you should be knocked down a couple of million for the same offense.

Well this shit ain’t gonna cook itself.

I dunno, what does Mark Twain have to do with time travel? The universe is a weird fuckin place, it’s easier to just roll with it.

I love the weight lifting robot that freaks out like C-3PO.

Because I could eat 20 cookies, but 40 is too many. And that’s terrible.

Me: imma practice my stalking skills

My sibling: hey whatcha doing?

Also they display creative uses for their own poop.

That sounds like parthenogenesis to me.

The only compromise we want to see is the structural kind.

Oh hey I recognize him from those where’s Waldo books.

Because Republicans feed on the suffering of others.

Never leave a DNA trail.