Remember kids, if your mom tries to wash your mouth out with soap, you take a big fucking bite of that bar, chew it up, and then spit it at her.

I live in the city man, I’m not going to notice shit.

I’m in Chicago and the Canadian wildfire smoke swept through here making it look all sepia toned, and I thought yeah this is fair. We deserve to look like everything’s made out of brown.

This is the first NIMBY I can get behind.

Well this explains that doodle I saw.

Take your brain damage over to the side that uses it as their platform.

Good.

It sure as hell didn’t get me as far as my mother expected. But she was drunk half the time anyway so meh

As anyone who’s ever worked in fast food will tell you, they don’t give a fuck.

I guess the bottom fell out of the Funko Pop market then?

You know what, sure, why the hell not. I’ll see you on the Darwin Awards lol

Funny how he never seems to know about bad things that have recently happened, but only when they make the Republicans look bad.

I don’t care which one they lock in, as long as they just fucking pick one and stick to it. It’s the changing that’s the problem - we all have electric lights ffs.

Okay if you think licking lead and uranium is maybe not a good idea then I think you need to reevaluate your decision making skills.

That one looks like it’s peppered. I didn’t know cats liked black pepper.

It’s nice to see Elon following in his father’s footsteps of hurting black people in an effort to get even more needlessly rich. Honestly though, somebody should take Elon back to South Africa and hurl him down a mineshaft.

Yeah at least 75% of sales, advertising, and marketing is a barely measurable metric that exists to look useful while burning money. Like those advertising mailers? They’re just employing people to do nothing but kill trees to prop up the postal service. Big brand ads? They just want to remind you that Coca-Cola exists in case you forgot since the last time they told you 10 minutes ago.

I swear to fuck if I ever hear “happy Monday” again I’m taking a toaster into the bathtub. I have an extension cord, I don’t need to use the safety outlet.

Change that sign to say $50 and it fits right in to modernity.

Never meet your heroes lol