Without pay? No. But I do fortunately have some pretty generous PTO at my work, and a bit of a weird work schedule that helps me stretch it even firther if I plan my vacations right.

My wife and I manage to get a bigger trip in every couple years. We’re not staying at fancy hotels or anything, but we can go somewhere cool and do some cool stuff, splurge on a couple nice meals, etc.

And usually one or two smaller trips a year, a couple camping trips, or a weekend away or something.

Would like to travel a lot more, but the travel expenses are what prevent it- food, lodging, plane tickets/gas/etc.

Well now there’s one more thing I can’t unsee

My wife has this big painting that hangs above our fireplace. It’s abstract, just some colored squares and rectangles, kind of blotchy.

One of those blotches looks a hell of a lot like a frog though. Almost like a frog hopped onto the canvas while the paint was still wet.

Can you find the frog?

Or “His Dudeness” or “Duder” or “El Duderino” if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.

He did eventually sober up, I think he did a little bit of time in jail or prison along the way. As far as I know he is generally doing pretty well now, is married, has a kid.

But he’s still an idiot. I remember seeing I’m parroting some bullshit about Trump being better for the middle class maybe about a year ago.

He did message me a bit after the election saying something about how he felt bad, but I was still pissed off myself and in no mood to hear him out and blocked him. I was within days of deleting my Facebook anyway so I was about to lose contact with him anyway since I’ve never had his phone number.

It wasn’t much, but back in high school I basically worked as sort of a personal savings account for a couple weeks.

There was one dude I wasn’t exactly friends with but we were friendly, never hung out or really talked outside of school, but otherwise were on pretty good terms. We often sat at the same lunch tables, had some mutual friends and such, talked and joked around between classes, etc.

He was also kind of an irresponsible druggie. Nice guy, wasn’t out committing crimes or anything besides drug possession, just made a lot of dumb choices, came to school drunk, high or tripping balls a lot.

I kind of looked the part of a stoner back in high school- long hair, sort of a grungy style, listened to a lot of classic rock and metal, etc. so I was in a lot of the same circles as him, but I didn’t drink or do drugs and it was also pretty well known that I was a reasonably smart, responsible, and honest dude.

So a few weeks out from senior prom, he realizes that he’s going to need some money for whatever his post-prom plans were (I didn’t ask, I figured it was probably better that I didn’t know.) He also knew that he couldn’t be trusted with his own money, he’d blow it on drugs or something else stupid.

So he asks if he can just give me money to hold onto, and I agreed. He’d hand me a few bucks here or there over the next couple weeks, whatever he didn’t use from his lunch money or allowance or whatever, and I just held onto it.

But at the end of it, it added up to a pretty decent bit of money (by “high school kids 20 years ago” standards anyway, it was maybe around $100)

And the day before prom I gave it back to him and he let me keep I think $10 or $20 for my troubles.

Richard Attenborough

Is it actually a dedicated gay nudist beach, or is it a nude beach that the gay community frequents?

There’s a nude beach not too far from me, and it’s pretty well-known that the one end of the beach is the “gay” end. There’s no official demarcation, it’s just a regular public beach where nudity happens to be allowed, and the one end of it is where the gay people tend to congregate, if you’re not already in the loop about the local nudist community, you’d have no real way of knowing that until you found yourself there and maybe noticed a lot of rainbow flags and same-sex couples holding hands or something.

But that end of the beach does also sometimes get a bit raunchy, which isn’t really legal though usually police turn a blind eye to it as long as they stay down that end, it wouldn’t bother me too much personally if I stumbled onto it without knowing, but it probably would a lot of other people, and I’d still generally consider it trashy and inappropriate at best.

If you were actually at some sort of private gay club where public sex is allowed, all good, but I feel like you probably wouldn’t be questioning and trying to justify it if that was the case.

Not trying to be contrary, but I’ve gone down this rabbit hole a lot over the years

As far as the donation goes, the argument I keep running up against is usually that they want me to “have something to unwrap” that isn’t just cash or a gift card (no matter how many times I tell them that I don’t care about that) I feel like a little “a donation has been made in your name” note would probably feel like even less of a present to them

maybe point out that it is tax deductible.

Unfortunately I don’t think any of my family are itemizing their deductions.

And as far as vouchers and gift cards go, I hate those things enough that in retrospect they probably should have been point 10. I never remember to use them, I have probably over $200 in various gift cards sitting around in my house right now that I’ll probably never think to grab when I’m running out to the store or making an order online. And I hate being forced to shop at specific places. And of course the amount always ends up not being exactly what I need, so either I’m left with like $2.37 left on a card that I’m really never going to bother using, or I still have to pay something out of pocket in which case I’d really rather I be able to shop around to get the best deal possible but can’t if I want to use the gift card.

Cash would be great, but again they want to give me something besides cash or a gift card.

And as far as personal vouchers go, my home/family life is mercifully pretty harmonious. Except for Christmas I don’t have many complaints, I see everyone pretty much exactly as much as I want to, get to do the things I enjoy doing, etc… About the only thing I would want there is a “get out of Christmas free card” which feels like a weird Christmas present.

And we’re sort of the cooks in the family, so I am the source of good bread and cookies and such, and I don’t really go through a lot of snack foods. I just recently threw out a bunch of candies and such from last Christmas to make room for what I surely have incoming this year, and my soap and such needs are pretty minimal, my preferred brand comes in gallon jugs that lasts me a good long time, and other consumables tend to last me a long time and I never seem to run low around the holidays, nor do I have the storage space to really stockpile a bunch of extras.

And my family is already really good at moving around stuff we’re not using, my brother in law (sisters husband) was kind of astonished at how often we end up moving furniture from one relatives house to another and handing off random things to people who can use them. We could maybe save some of that for Christmas, but then it becomes a problem of “where do we store this second couch we bought in August until we can give the old one away in December”

And handmade stuff I don’t need is still stuff I don’t need.

1. Deep down I’m still an edgy militant atheist, and really want nothing to do with religious celebrations.

2. The only things I really want are things I’m not realistically going to be gifted. No one’s going to buy and install a new heater/windows/deck for me for Christmas, or pay down my credit card, etc. I have too much junk already, I have all the clothes I need, I don’t really need more snacks in the house, and I’m pretty much set up with everything I need/want for my hobbies. I don’t need gifts. Inevitably I’m going to get a bunch of junk I don’t need or want, and I’m gonna take it straight home and throw it out or donate it or otherwise I’m going to spend the next eternity shuffling around my house because I don’t have anywhere to put it.

3. I’m probably a bit autistic or maybe just a bit dead inside, so even on the rare occasion I get a gift I’m really excited about I don’t really have much of a reaction to it, which I feel is disappointing to the people giving it to me.

4. I really hate decorating and then having to take it all down a month or so later, having to haul all this crap down from the attic and then back up again is a real drag. It’s part of the reason I get a real tree, it’s easier to just strap it back onto my roof and haul it to my friend’s house to burn in their fire pit (which is very cathartic) than to try to wrestle it back up the ladder. My wife likes it, so I suffer through it, I just wish she’d do more of the work.

5. I don’t want to spend money. I have things I want to save for and dropping a couple hundred bucks on presents isn’t helping that. I don’t mind getting people gifts if it’s something I think they really need or wound like, but thats usually not why I’m buying them stuff for Christmas, I’m getting them stuff because I feel obligated to get them something.

6. Family gatherings suck. As far as families go mine isn’t too bad, I’d even say I kind of like most of them, but getting all of them in the room together and having to spend most of the day with them is too much. There’s too many people, it’s too loud, and while they’re generally all good people, I don’t really have enough in common with most of them to make it worth the aggravation, they’re best enjoyed in small doses. My wife’s family is smaller and quieter, which would be great, except they want the gathering to go on all day, my wife is bringing stuff over to make breakfast and it sounds like they plan to keep things going until at least dinner, so thats probably gonna be a 12+ hour ordeal when you figure in the time it takes to go over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house. Also, most of our family just aren’t great cooks, and even if they were there are some picky eaters in the family, so family meals are pretty lackluster. I think my wife’s family’s dinner plans are a stouffers lasagna. Luckily I have to work this year so I have a good excuse not to go.

7. Christmas music can be good, but not the stuff that’s been piped into every single fucking store I’ve had to go to for the last month, and I’m sick of it.

8. This is mostly just a me-problem, but I have way too much shit going on this time of year. My anniversary is in November, then thanksgiving which we usually do with my father in law who’s about an hour away, my wife’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, christmas even which is usually with my family, usually about 45 minutes away depending on who’s hosting, Christmas day is usually with my mother in law about an hour away, and then after that I usually host a new years eve party and between work and holiday obligations it’s kind of crazy trying to get my house ready for that.

9. I work in 911 dispatch, we always get some really crazy/sad calls around this time of year. I deal with it just fine personally, but it doesn’t exactly put me in a holly jolly mood.

10. I don’t know, I made it this far and just kind of wanted to leave it on a nice round number I guess… Maybe I find tinsel distracting?

Occasional nudist/naturist here

Depends a bit on the beach you’re at, but generally yeah, that’s pretty inappropriate and would get you thrown out of or even arrested at any of the places I go to. Nudism isn’t about sex, it’s just about not wearing clothes, there are people with kids who enjoy nudism as a family, etc.

The resort I normally go to has a very lively swinger community, sometimes it almost seems like my wife and I are the only couple there not part of the lifestyle, but even still any sort of sexual activity stays out of the open, you go back to your room/tent/RV for that.

There are definitely some places that will turn more of a blind eye to it, but in general unless you’re specifically at some sort of a lifestyle resort where that sort of thing is officially condoned you shouldn’t be doing it in the open.

Personally, I wouldn’t be too bothered by it, I’d think it’s trashy as fuck and would judge you pretty harshly for it but it wouldn’t ruin my day. I can’t speak for everyone else in the nudist community though, and if you search around you can find a lot of horror stories of someone finally convincing their friend to try out nudism only to have the bad luck of that friend immediately encountering some creep or someone having sex out in the open and being immediately turned off by the experience never wanting to try it again

It’s been quite a while since I used it but I remember kind of liking the smell.

There was a tiny undertone of some sort of funky rotten garlicky smell, but predominantly I thought it was more spicy and piney smelling

Most veggies in grocery stores are bred for things like appearance and shelf life more than actual quality.

I think tomatoes are a prime example of this.

Tomatoes bruise easily, and people kind of want to buy the perfect, round, bright red tomatoes, not a weird lumpy-looking, funny colored bruised up one.

So big farmers grow tomatoes that look pretty, and are sturdier to better handle being shipped thousands of miles, that will last better on grocery store shelves, etc.

But there’s trade-offs there for things like texture and taste. That perfect-looking tomato may be bland and watery.

They may also be doing stuff like picking them before they’re fully ripe and artificially ripening them with ethylene gas or something later in a warehouse.

When you get tomatoes from a smaller, local farmer though, they don’t have to be shipped as far, or sit around in a warehouse or grocery store as long, so they don’t need to pick varieties based on shelf life and ability to stand up to shipping, and can instead grow varieties that taste good. And they can pick them at their peak ripeness because they’re going more directly from the field to the consumer and they don’t have to rely on tricks like ethylene.

My wife isn’t a picky eater, but when we first started dating she thought that she didn’t really like tomatoes.

But she had only ever had regular grocery store tomatoes.

Until we moved in together and I grew some myself. Then she discovered that tomatoes can actually be really good. Now she can’t get enough of them, as long as they’re good tomatoes.

And I didn’t even grow any particularly fancy tomatoes. That first year that I made a convert of her I just had some regular ol’ beefsteak, Roma, and cherry tomatoes that I picked up as pre-started plants from Walmart or home Depot or somewhere like that, and grew them in pots on the patio of our apartment. Basically entry-level gardening, but that was enough to blow her mind.

Another year I grew, I think the variety was called something like “mucho nacho” jalapenos. We love jalapenos to begin with, but holy shit. That particular variety was everything we ever wanted a jalapeno to be. We had one or two other varieties going that year to have a comparison, but that one stood head-and-shoulders above the others, bigger, a little hotter, and just plain tastier.

And farmers can probably get their hands on even better varieties than whatever I could get at a big box hardware store, and have the know-how to really give them ideal growing conditions.

Married 7 years, wouldn’t trade it for the world

That said, being single is easier/less complicated.

Marriage is all about compromise, it’s basically impossible that you’re going to 100% agree on absolutely everything with your spouse, and you’re both flawed humans odds are once in a while you’re gonna do something that pisses each other off, you’re going to have to occasionally put your own stuff on the back burner to help with theirs etc.

And that’s hard for a lot of people.

And arguably might be even harder for a lot of men with toxic masculinity, societal expectations, gender roles, etc. not gonna pick that apart too much right now.

Also, in a lot of cases, it may be worth not taking things too seriously, everyone’s got a different sense of humor, and jokes don’t always land the right way. My wife and I pretty regularly joke about wanting a divorce, but it is absolutely 100% a divorce. I usually get threatened with it over making a stupid pun or dad joke, for example, hardly serious grounds for a divorce.

It was around 2016, I was about 25, and I went camping with some friends for a few days.

Up until that point, I felt like I had managed to stay relatively “with-it”

But we had little to no Internet access for a few days, because that’s how camping works.

I came back and dat boi was all over the internet.

I had no idea what was going on with that meme, it never quite clicked for me

And from there it was all downhill, more and more new memes just stopped making sense to me.

Also, funny story, I’m back at work tonight, and had an off duty officer calling in a reckless driver

Wanted to keep following them

Crossed over the border of 3 different towns

And no officers available anywhere near where they were

It’s like he had some kind of reckless driver bingo card he was trying to fill out

Not exactly the soundtrack, it was fine, but nothing special and overall forgettable

But I want to give a small shout-out to Morbius for having really good sound mixing. I definitely expected it to be a “whispers and explosions” kind of movie where you couldn’t hear the conversations, and action scenes blew your eardrums out, and the background music was all over the place

But no, everything was at a reasonable volume, I could hear everything crystal clear.

There was just nothing worth hearing unfortunately.

This varies by state, but where I am if no one’s hurt and the cars are driveable, it’s considered a “non-reportable accident”

Generally speaking, we’ll still send cops to take a report if you really want one but it’s not really necessary for anything. Mostly it’s only needed if you’re it a company vehicle or something and your employer wants it for your file or something.

Otherwise, you just exchange info and let your insurance companies sort it out, the police don’t really have anything else to do with it at that point.

I believe some areas and departments have an online form you can fill out to generate a crash report.

If the police are very busy, they may tell you to just exchange info, do the online report, or go to the station later to file one, otherwise you might have to sit out on the side of the road for sometimes several hours waiting for an officer while they deal with higher priority incidents.

If there are injuries, or if the cars aren’t driveable, that does require a police report and will have a higher priority response because of it.

Again, that varies a lot from one state to another, I’m only speaking about the situation where I work.

I work a bit of a weird schedule

I do 12 hour shifts on a 2-2-3 rotation

So week 1 I work Monday, Tuesday, and Friday-Sunday

Then Week 2 I only work Wednesday and Thursday

Technically for payroll purposes I think technically that Sunday I work is part of week, but that’s a stupid way to think about it day-to-day

So basically one week I work 5 days, and the next week 2

Or if you’re a payroll bean counter, 4 and 3

So on average 3½ days a week, or basically a 4 day work week.

And I really like it despite the fact that I actually work slightly more hours than someone with a normal 40 hour work week.

I never have to work more than 3 days in a row without a 2 day break

I have days off during the week to squeeze appointments and such in

Sure I have to work every other weekend, but every other weekend is basically a free 3 day weekend.

And if you plan your vacations and such carefully you can get a whole week but only need to take 2 days off. That gets a little funny because our PTO is mostly based around 8 hour days since most people here have a normal workweek and they dont change it for those of us who work 12s, it mostly averages out, especially since we work less days overall, but it’s not exact and I’m usually left with a handful of hours left over that don’t add up to a full shift at the end of the year. A lot of it can carry over year-to-year though, so not a huge deal.

This also all happened less than 1/4 mile from a police station

It’s also worth considering that most of the time there’s usually not a whole lot of officers just loitering around the police station, most of them are out on patrol somewhere else in their town.

They might have someone on desk duty, but generally they’re kind of needed there in case someone walks in, or they’re handling dispatch duties, paperwork, etc. or may be injured and on light duty so really can’t be out responding to incidents.

In my county most of the time the people in the station are just office staff and not cops at all.

They may be in and out of the station a few times during the day, but often that’s because they’re doing something there, like dropping off evidence of meeting with a complainant where they can’t exactly drop everything to go respond to another call unless it’s a big priority.