…they named their daughter “Bacon”?

blink blink

Well that certainly is an opinion.

Nice to see Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs got married.

You should change a coworkers map to say “New Muxico” instead of “New Mexico”.

Just to see how long they take to notice.

Well, it IS hard to care about a multinternational sex ring that targets billionaires as clients including the current and some former presidents, when there’s no pizza at the meeting.

No pizza = not important.

That’s how these things works right? Bring donuts, kind of important. Bring pizza? Oh fuck! Shit just got real! Bring muffins? This meeting could have been an email.

I’m glad you said there were two characters. I thought it went like this. …

P1: Girl happy talking on the phone.

P2: Girl hides behind tree scared.

P3: Girl listens to something on the phone and is horrified.

P4: Girl is horrified and embarassed, and hides behind the tree again.

I was like “This girl is weird…”

Basically, when you spank someone the natural instinct is to tense up. By tensing up you make the spank less impactful and hurt less.

By putting the ginger root in her ass, it burns from inside. By tensing up, she makes it burn much more. By staying relaxed it burns less.

So it puts her in a situation where if she tenses, it burns. If she stays relaxed the spanks hurt much more.

It’s called “figging”.

This prompted me to think “What is my most vile thought?”

And I guess it’s sexual fetishes. But even with that, even though I’m doing horribly mean things to/with women, and putting them through absolute punishment, I’m still getting consent first.

That being said, why is it so hard to ask to find a woman who will let me tie them to my bed naked, put a ginger root in their mouth, and tell them if they drop it, I’ll carve it into a dildo, shove in their ass, and spank them? Then to make sure that happens, I tickle their feet.

See? Totally vile, and evil, and sadistic…but they have a safeword and give consent first! I’m not a monster.

I remember when I was a kid, and I said Raphiel was the coolest Ninja Turtle. And everybody else said Michelangelo.

I was told I was wrong because otherwise it would mean everyone else was wrong.

I said “Then everyone else is wrong together. Just like when they cancelled PeeWee’s Playhouse.”

I’m now 41, and still stand by both statements. Everyone can be wrong together.

Holy shit. I’m just now finding out about this. Otherwise I’d have pet that dog all day when it was still alive.

As a moderator of fuck_ai, I’m against all ai existing. As a human being with a functional brain, I’m against cybertrucks existing.

So I’m torn.

Aren’t you guys glad that we dismantled government regulation of businesses long ago? Now we get cars that are racist! Yaaaaaay!

clears throat

blows up a cybertruck

Black or green?

Red or black?

Plot twist. The local farmers market dealer is also a crack dealer. The tomatoes have a light layer of crack on them.

Yeah, you can come over to our timeline. You just have to give one of us living in the other timeline ice cream and a blowjob.

And since I’m the only one you know with the ability to timeline jump…

zzzzziiiiippppp

Chocolate chip cookie dough please! With butterscotch topping!

the body of…government responsible for this mess appologized, and gave Khalil 40 million dollars instead. Straight out of trumps personal wallet.

Right? RIGHT???

No. That doesn’t sound like this timeline.

Ooooooh, they murdered him. Ok. That fits this timeline much more realistically.

See, in the other timeline everyone got ice cream and a blowjob.

Coming out of my check I’m sure.

If they did this here, I’d just stop using bluesky. I’m 41. But I have no interest in verifying ages online. We’ve all seen how poorly companies handle intetnal security.

Just yesterday McDonalds had their entire database of applications compromised because someone tried the password 123456.

Bluesky would be dropped instantly.

Feeling the need to spread seed based on a self described superior gene set.

I swear I’ve heard that before…

elon musk does a heil hitler salute

Oh right.