The standard text for this meme is “Y U NO [verb]”.

Netflix: “Are you still watching?”

Someone’s lovely daughter: picture #4

Um, how about real conspiracies? No need to make something up. A few examples:

1. Trump colluding with billionaires to take over the USA.
2. Tech companies’ proxy mass surveillance for the NSA.
3. Billionaires keeping the USA from having infrastructure other countries have had for decades or even centuries.
4. The erosion of private property due to market incentives.

Real conspiracies are seldom bombastic or spectacular.

Abusive parents the second you defend yourself effectively: “I didn’t know you had teeth, sorry for biting you.”

I think rich people should contribute to society.

People who make 50K a year:

Ah, so right now it is quite literal slavery. But instead of the old-fashioned way of buying a slave directly, I buy a monthly subscription to a slaver, which operates the slave centre abroad, where it cannot be audited.

Imagine being a person able to come up with something like this.

You’re joking right?

What the hell is that?

This is online discourse. You’re supposed to be a voice for the hive-mind narrative. We will cleanse the forum from your pollution and discord and make it join our harmony. I am a voice in their choir.

What year is it? Am I really this old?

I mean this very kindly: I recommend to see a psychotherapist. Many state health insurers reimburse the cost for it.

JPEGs bad reputation results only from platforms automatically compressing things with very bad presets. Just saying.

Ok boomer.

That’s crazy, I am also better at handling radioactive material than Marie Curie. It’s because she’s dead and I’m not.

The fucking mushrooms.

If physics are not magic, then how do you explain magnets? Checkmate.

Let’s make a megathread on this:

1. What’s on the other side?
2. How do you explain timezones?
3. How do you explain the orbits of other planets?
4. How do you explain the pendulum shift?
5. Why do ships disappear bottom first?
6. Why can’t I see farther from a mountain top?
7. Why is line of sight broken, if I build a tower on 2 mountains that are about 60km apart?

Add your questions as replies! :)

Pavlov pavloved himself.

Do you think Pavlov thought of his experiment every time he heard a bell ring?

Trains are the crabs of transportation. If you optimise something enough, eventually you get a train.