If you have scissors on your desk, just cut the cord. No need to even get up.

Big, strong, military men must always come out on top.

I know every word to Dr. Dre’s Bitch Niggaz, but you have to be in my car to experience it. I’m not breaking that out at karaoke.

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Lobotomy + Brain Worm = RFK #2

Like he’d ask.

tl;dr:

Rub them on a big piece of carpet.

I wonder if traveling the seas is why he flops so much?

They have enough already.

Mental illness CAN get you a plane, if you’re fast and skilled enough.

It’s this version:

Channels and scooped depressions?

Sooo…aqueducts to put the Romans to shame?

This is against the law, y’all. :(

Why not both? You have to hydrate.

Right on.

As death approaches, happiness increases.

Real missed opportunity there, Doordash driver.

Eh, I’ll take what I can get these days.

Did I mention I THINK there’s crude oil and gold underneath the trees?

That sounds beautiful. I just moved in a few months ago and have no idea what I have, but I know part of the lot is forest overgrown with kudzu. I daren’t venture in.