Yeah, it can be hard, but many things worth doing are hard. If you start with the bare minimum, the other person’s first impression of you is that you half-assed it. Would you be extra interested in someone who’s too half assed to even read your profile?

Put in the hard work. If you don’t have the energy, don’t use the apps. Half-assing it is just going to make you unhappy.

Except when actually trying to make a match, it’s more advantageous to literally swipe right on everyone to maximize matches and then unmatch if you match with someone you aren’t interested in.

This isn’t true if their system punishes people for swiping “yes” on everyone. While I can’t be certain that’s the case, it seems very plausible it is. Swipe yes on everyone, your profile is down ranked, you don’t get as many good matches.

Additionally, tinder and hinge only allow you a limited number of yes swipes per day. If you blow them on the first ten profiles, you’re going to have worse results than if you spend a little longer looking at profiles.

Furthermore, on hinge, you can send a message with your like. Your chances of having a conversation and date go way down without a good message.

Thinking about my friend group, about half the people met their long term partners on dating apps. The other half is a mix of work and large social groups (eg: people who all go to certain kinds of music festivals)

I guess it varies by age and region.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/08/20/key-takeaways-on-americans-views-of-and-experiences-with-dating-and-relationships/

While meeting partners through personal networks is still the most common kind of introduction, about one-in-ten partnered adults (12%) say they met their partner online. About a third (32%) of adults who are married, living with a partner or are in a committed relationship say friends and family helped them find their match. Smaller shares say they met through work (18%), through school (17%), online (12%), at a bar or restaurant (8%), at a place of worship (5%) or somewhere else (8%).

Some other sources I’m seeing say it’s as high as 60% of couples met online.

I think dating apps are mostly used for hookups

This isn’t especially true. Maybe Feeld and Tinder are less “serious”, but the idea of dating apps is mainstream enough that you find all sorts of people and goals.

The capitalism and for-profit nature does make them all kind of suck, though

The top of the funnel I could see an argument for not putting a lot of thought in. You’re just trying to get a pool of potential matches. (The apps are cruel for making you pay for this and not just giving you the list up front)

But once you do have a match, you have to put in some effort to stand out. A lot of people get a match and all they write is “hey”, and then they go right into the trash. Why would I engage with someone who just wrote “hey” when I could instead talk to someone who read my profile and said something personalized?

Also swiping yes on everyone might do strange things to their recommendation algorithm. Unfortunately that’s a black box, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that puts you in some sort of chum bucket shadow ban situation.

And also, yeah, making you pay for basic filters is a trashy design. Match group should be broken up.

Most of the apps are trashy and don’t optimize for good matches.

At the same time, many users half-ass using them, or deploy a variety of self-sabotage. (No, it’s not that you’re not tall or hot or whatever. It’s more likely your impersonal message didn’t warrant a response)

These two facts together mean a lot of people have truly bad outcomes.

Cool. Been on Pop!_os for a year or so. Not memorable issues. Plays games fine.

Microsoft should be broken up. Even if they walk back some of their AI slop, they’re too big. They don’t fail like they should for releasing a bad product.

Reminds me of a long road trip I took in my youth. After a couple days we were basically speaking in in-jokes

As others have said, working from home has many benefits

• no commute
  • save time
  • save money
  • less risk of disease and accident
  • often easier child care options
• greater control over environment
  • offices are often too hot or cold for some
  • stock own food, drinks, toilet paper, etc
• better pet access. Cat on lap. Dog walk easier.
• easier wardrobe
• several distraction categories removed
  • people walking up to your desk
  • loud meetings

The commute alone is pretty big. If your commute is like an hour, that’s changing your salary from like $x / 10 hours to $x / 8 hours. That’s a big bump. If your daily pay was $1000, that’s like going from $100/hour to $125/hour.

Conservatism is exclusively about in-group. Everything else is a post-hoc justification. They’re just less, I don’t know, morally developed. Like children.

So as a senior, you could abstain. But then your junior colleagues will eventually code circles around you, because they’re wearing bazooka-powered jetpacks and you’re still riding around on a fixie bike

Lol this works in a way the author probably didn’t intend. They are wearing extremely dangerous tools that were never really a great idea. They’ll code some circles, set their legs on fire, and crash into a wall.

Snapshot tests are an anti-pattern. Easy to use, lead to problems.

They do not encode intent. Everything in the snapshot is equally weighted. Your test will fail the same way if your copy changes or your HTML structure, but one of those is probably way more important. Assert on what’s important.

They discourage thinking about what you’re doing. Suppose you have an API that returns information about a user and their pets. Your first integration test adds a user to the database, makes a request, and looks at the response. You could just brainlessly snapshot the response, but the user PK in the response might not always be the same. People are going to try to snapshot the response anyway.

Humans are lazy, and they won’t read the diff carefully. This is especially true if the diff is large or complex. Doubly so if you have a great number of these. They’ll go “oh yeah I changed this component so it should have changed. Accept changes” and move on. No one wants to look at 40 large dozen line diffs.

If you have your code set up to arrange and then act, you’re like 80% of the way there to writing a normal set of asserts.

I would never recommend snapshot testing.

Not good.

They could be ignorant and not understand how politics affects pretty much everything.

They could be foolishly cynical and think that “none of it matters”, so they just don’t pay attention.

They could be like pathologically avoidant and don’t want to talk about a potentially disharmonious topic.

They could have shitty views they don’t want to talk about.

Not good. Not good people.

I don’t understand how my coworkers are using windows. Like, they routinely have issues where it randomly reboots or gets sluggish. And it’s just flat out unfit for software development, unless you’re targeting windows specific stuff. They can’t even run our code locally.

Maybe some of the problems are janky security stuff to try to lock it down

Many complaints against prostitution also apply to trading labor for money/shelter in general. People just have a stronger emotional response.

Emotional responses are rarely a good foundation for policy.

Prostitution should be legal with safety regulations. All labor should have protections, unions, and such, to protect them from being abused by the wealthy.

Some specific things would probably remain illegal or disallowed, in the same sense that you’re not allowed to work construction without safety gear. People can wear condoms as easily as hard hats and hi-viz vests.

I don’t think that’s always true. Some people develop a drug addiction and then that leads to homelessness. Spend increasing amounts of time and money on drugs instead of life needs, and then they’re broke jobless and out of options.

Someone who’s homeless may use drugs and develop an addiction, too. But the order of events isn’t fixed. I don’t know how common either order is.

It helps that I’m not a picky or demanding eater. I make a cup of rice in my rice cooker, get some canned beans, and throw in a random assortment of spices and/or condiments. Not afraid to try some weird combinations.

I’ve been feeling okay on the beans, peanut butter, and sometimes peas.

If you have cheap vegetarian options I’m open to recommendations

Left to my own devices it’d be about $100/month.

Rice, beans, pasta, peanut butter, oatmeal, and then whatever fruit and vegetables are cheap.

With the social life included, there’s more expenses. Did dinner out last week for $60 (a nice local Thai place). Ordered a pizza with a friend who was feeling down and watched Star Trek together for like $30.

Other non-rice meals with my partner can also be more expensive. We air-fried up some potatoes and vegan “meat” last night and it was good.

There’s an app called “too good to go” that lets you get cheap food near the end of day. It’s stuff the restaurant or grocery was going to have to throw out. Sometimes you get like four slices of pizza for $4, or a platter of Korean food for $6. Seems good and not enshittified yet.

I’m in NYC, for context.

The young adult and youth experience in the UU church was pretty great. Less church-y, more interactive. I made a lot of good friends when I was younger there.