“Hmm, new compound, eh? Let’s taste it.”

If this runs on Oracle we’re all gonna be just fine. It’s one of the slowest, clunkiest products ever made.

Worked at a place where our CIO was completely unqualified to be a leader, much less a leader in IT. She was a micromanager who took the position of “telling stakeholders” instead of “working with stakeholders” so any project she was on was really her pushing through whatever agenda she had at the time. Meanwhile her deputy CIO was stealing computer equipment from the server room but I digress…

April fools one year and I decide to prank it up. I moved the hinges (not the door handles) of the freezer/fridge in the breakroom so that the handle and hinges were on the same side. It’s a fifteen minute job to move everything so I did it the night before the 1st.

The next morning our hungover CIO stumbles into the breakroom and cannot get the fridge to open. After a few seconds of futile tugging on the handle, she gave up and took her lunch to her office.

Others in the office figured it out pretty quickly and had a good chuckle.

Later on that day CIO sends out a nastygram about pranks being unprofessional, property damage, someone was going to be in huge trouble, yadda yadda…

But she’s not the director. The director tells her to basically fuck off, it was a funny prank, and perhaps she needed to lighten up.

She never found out it was me.