And at the same time, social anxiety has been steadily increasing among young people due to decreased human connection, driven by smartphone use. Tell a random 20 year old to go to their local park and strike up a conversation with a stranger for no reason except that they are at the same park, and they’ll look at you like you just told them to assassinate the prime minister of Czechoslovakia - not only are they sure it is a bad idea, but they are pretty sure it is impossible, since Czechoslovakia hasnt been a country for quite some time now.
So these factors combine. They believe that even approaching a woman already makes them a bad person. Then layer on top social anxiety that makes talking to strangers already horrifying. And the brain comes up with a scenario that justifies the fear: You are a bad person if you approach a woman - you’re a bad person just for thinking about it - so if you actually did such a fucked up thing, it would definitely get recorded and posted online. Everyone would know what a fucked up person you are, you’d probably get MeToo’d, and sent to jail for sexual assault. Better never talk to anyone, just to be safe.
Damn that was a bit too close to home for comfort. However I’m closer to 40’s than 20’s xD
I see myself as a shy introvert and I’d rather avoid social interactions if I can, as I feel I’m bothering the other person(s). So approaching a woman randomly… Yeah the second quoted paragraphe summarise how the experience would feel.
That’s why I liked dating apps years ago, before it (apparently) went to shit (I stopped now that I have a partner): clear background and expectations, minimised misunderstanding.
There was this thing in the culture that women want to be left alone. They don’t want sex. Anyone approaching them only judged on their appearance so was obviously a pervert wanting sex. At one point we reached the concept of “stare rape”, looking a woman for too long make her uncomfortable. As someone with ASD, I already learned to count seconds in my head when I look someone: I know I have to move sight after 3 seconds for not being weird/creepy. Still counting since teenagers years. I never approach, even change of the side of walkway on the road if I follow a woman for too long so she’s not afraid. The whole interaction rule in society seem to be “stay away a few meters, don’t touch, don’t look, don’t talk and you won’t be considered a monster”. I’m a bad person for having desires. It’s so fucked.
Damn that was a bit too close to home for comfort. However I’m closer to 40’s than 20’s xD
I see myself as a shy introvert and I’d rather avoid social interactions if I can, as I feel I’m bothering the other person(s). So approaching a woman randomly… Yeah the second quoted paragraphe summarise how the experience would feel.
That’s why I liked dating apps years ago, before it (apparently) went to shit (I stopped now that I have a partner): clear background and expectations, minimised misunderstanding.
@BrowseMan @blarghly this so much this.
I’m 40yo with ASD.
There was this thing in the culture that women want to be left alone. They don’t want sex. Anyone approaching them only judged on their appearance so was obviously a pervert wanting sex. At one point we reached the concept of “stare rape”, looking a woman for too long make her uncomfortable. As someone with ASD, I already learned to count seconds in my head when I look someone: I know I have to move sight after 3 seconds for not being weird/creepy. Still counting since teenagers years. I never approach, even change of the side of walkway on the road if I follow a woman for too long so she’s not afraid. The whole interaction rule in society seem to be “stay away a few meters, don’t touch, don’t look, don’t talk and you won’t be considered a monster”. I’m a bad person for having desires. It’s so fucked.
#blackPill
@asklemmy