If you are kinky and are feeling bad about I would highly recommend you start listening and reading to my boy Dan Savage America’s longest running sex-advice columnist. Hearing and understanding other people’s kinks will put your own into perspective and you will understand that the only thing typical about human sexuality is how atypical it is. Almost everyone has at least 1 “non-normative sexual desires” so keep that it mind.

How do you get rid of kink? You don’t. You can’t. You can try but it will always come back. So you will need to understand this about yourself and accept it. Sexuality has been keep our species alive and fucking since before we were Homo sapiens. You can’t fight it.

There is a potential to pivot a kink if you understand what it is about the kink that turns you on. If you are interested in humilating and degrading the root of this may just be a power exchange. Power exchange is pretty typical and almost all kinks have an aspect of that which may fulfill that itch for in person sex. You also can keep a kink to yourself even in a relationships. So you might be “out” about being into a submissive role but not share you are in degradation with your partner.

If you are interested in learning more I would recommend you read The New Bottoming Book and the The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. (Note the cover change in these pdfs). They will really open your eyes about how kinks are not some curse but a fun quirk of your sexuality’s that gives your partners something fun to play with. Congratulations have Fun.