I don’t know very many trans people in real life, but it’s something that I wonder about whenever having an interaction on a personal level. I don’t mean this to sound invasive or creepy. It’s an honest question from a person who simultaneously wants you to feel as free and welcome as I can help you to feel living on the same planet as me, while also having absolutely no paradigm for what it feels like to be a transsexual person. Do you tend to appreciate it when someone comments positively on your looks or clothes, either with or without reference to the fact that it’s sometimes somewhat apparent that a transition occurred at some point, or do you prefer that it goes mostly ignored like it does most of the time for cis people? Does it feel like a patronizing participation medal, or kinda validating? On one hand, I know that if I complete a project, it feels good if someone comments on it without me pointing it out, and asks questions about how I did it, and I’m likewise happy to acknowledge the amount of work and bravery that a trans person has put into themselves, but you also have other stuff going on in your life, and I don’t want to make it weird by making you feel like that’s the only part of you that anyone notices.

For clarity: this is on the premise that it’s done with social awareness and tact. I don’t mean complimenting someone by saying “You really do look like a guy.” I’m more asking about something along the lines of “I like your dress. That’s awesome!” With the extra “that’s awesome.” part, being verbal shorthand for: it’s awesome that you’re being honest enough with yourself to wear it in public, and I respect it. Thoughts?

  • QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works
    112·
    16 hours ago

    since it seems you are not very knowledgeable on trans people I’ll start off by thanking you for asking a genuine question. Your heart is in the right place and you are trying to learn and that’s much better than a LOT of people.

    Second off, “transsexual” is kinda a term in history that was used very negatively and is seen as a slur used twords trans people. I would highly recommend editing it out for the word “transgender” instead. (unlike reddit, you can edit posts on Lemmy if you didn’t know)

    Don’t worry about it too hard though, as long as you’re not intending to be rude I don’t interpret it that way. When I first came out there were so many negative words and awkward questions I had to teach my family about, it’s very normal to make mistakes when you’ve never been educated on a topic like this.