I’d also accept a variation on that Christopher Walken bit from Pulp Fiction…
“He was captured and put in a Cardassian prison camp. Now he knew if the Cardies ever saw the baseball card it’d be confiscated. He’d be damned if any spoonheads gonna put their scaly grey hands on his limited edition baseball card, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this baseball card up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the baseball card. I hid this uncomfortable piece of cardboard up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I sell the baseball card to you.”
I’d also accept a variation on that Christopher Walken bit from Pulp Fiction…
“He was captured and put in a Cardassian prison camp. Now he knew if the Cardies ever saw the baseball card it’d be confiscated. He’d be damned if any spoonheads gonna put their scaly grey hands on his limited edition baseball card, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this baseball card up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the baseball card. I hid this uncomfortable piece of cardboard up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I sell the baseball card to you.”
“Wow! Somehow it still smells like the bubblegum it originally came with!”