For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I’ve never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It’s sentimental.
I don’t like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It’s perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don’t like new things.
We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?
We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I’m not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don’t like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?
This sounds like me… Father gave me a gift that I don’t need, I get irritated and said something that I shouldn’t say. Spouse pointed that out to me, said it was their thought that mattered. I feel sorry and guilty ever since…
I never used that thing, but I kept it very safe.
In a perfect world, you can accept the gift graciously and then give it away later without making a big deal about it. At least in the Marie Kondo school of things, you think about how the person who gave you a gift out of kindness and love wouldn’t want it to be burdening your life.
That’s that if it really is important to them that you keep this gift. There might be something more complicated going on that I don’t really understand.