Seriously, though…ugh. I have to post these now for both stress relief and to not have them be in my recent files when someone grabs my laptop to “look something up real quick” like they don’t have a damn smartphone.
Edit: Re-uploaded to add “aunt who is only nice because she’s sucking up to grandma for the inheritance” who just texted she’s coming.
Then there’s my mom who doesn’t always get invited to stuff because she
Has to force herself into everyone else’s business
Tries to hijack every single conversation so she can talk about the 2 or 3 topics she only ever talks about, including that one ex-wife of an uncle who abandoned her whole family over 50 years ago but she still refers to as “aunt” despite every single other person in the family hating her. Or about how much money she spent on something.
Only make backhanded compliments or otherwise rude comments, and doesn’t understand why everyone gets pissed at her for it. But if you so much as bounce back with 10% of she said, she gets pissy and wants to leave.
Is the absolute pickiest eater imaginable. Everything is either too salty or too spicy, too cold or too hot, or outright says something is cheap and not homemade
The answer to #4 is “Well then you don’t have to have any” and tbh #3 sounds like a self-fixing problem and the solution to all 4.
She’s the kind of person who always orders a salad because she thinks all salads are inherently healthy. But if it’s iceberg lettuce she will spend 10 minutes picking out any pieces that have white in them, and if it’s spinach she complains if there are stems. And I’ve sat there and watched her very literally flip through every single piece of lettuce to eat everything except the lettuce. Yes, she orders a salad and eats everything except the lettuce.
Oh, I know this one. Only it was my grandmother, she was hosting, and she insisted on cooking everything. Sometimes, not well.