Young man, I see profits are down, I said
Young man, workers leaving the ground, I said
Young man, 'cause you’re in hoo-man town, I said
There’s no need to be un-Ferengi
Young man, there’s a person in town, I said
Young man, when you’re short on latinum you will
See him and I’m sure you will find
Miserable days and bad times

It’s time to get probed by Brunt F.C.A.
It’s time to get probed by Brunt F.C.A.
He’ll do everything young entrepreneurs fear
You can’t hang with other Ferengi boys
It’s time to get probed by Brunt F.C.A.
It’s time to get probed by Brunt F.C.A.
You won’t have shirts to clean, you won’t have a good meal
Your bank account is gonna reel.

(These days, I normally wouldn’t want to reference Village People, but this parody just works so well that I had to forget my political rage for a second and just get it out of my mind.)