Asking because I remember telling my mom I wanna kms and she got upset and told me she regret giving birth to me.
Later when confronted, she told me she only said it because she was angry, that she didn’t mean it.
Nowadays she tells me she loves me (I mean she always told me she loved me, but then there are a lot of memories of me getting yelled at… so idk… wtf), that everyone in my family loves me (really mom? pretty sure my brother hates me to death).
Bipolar much?
(Pls don’t spam comments with “see a therapist”, working on it… healthcare system sucks to navigate)
Unfortunately yes. I’m prone to depression and have been treated for it for over 20 years. About two years ago I was in a particularly bad way (near suicidal) and in my ranting and wailing, one of my family members asked to please think of my son, who was about 13 at the time. I answered “too late, I already fucked him up”, which was in no way meant as a reflection on him, only on myself. But he heard it, and I’m afraid I broke something in him that day that I’ve never been able to repair.
It’s one of my greatest regrets in life. I would do anything to reverse it.
Have you said it to him? That this was a mistake? You should, and there’s nothing that can be bad about this - either he knows this were just words, or you will make it clear that it was said when you didn’t think you can do thinks right (including raising kids)
I did, but puberty’s hitting him hard (he’s almost 15 but taller than both parents, looks about 18-19 if you wouldn’t know) and he’s not very receptive to emotional talks at this stage. I’ll keep trying though, and showing him in so many other ways that I’ll always be there for him and that I think very highly of him.
Well, my kids are 8/11, so I’m just about to ride into the “you don’t understand me” age. But yes, keep showing you’re open, and I hope you guys will be alright
Thank you for the kind words, appreciated!
From myself: I have two kids, and I’ve said harsh things to them a few times (I am sometimes too emotional and impulsive - I can scream something I will regret later in a middle of an argument). Talking helps, it really does, as I feel that me and my kids - “we’re good”.
I think it’s important to do a full analysis of what happened, with them:
It becomes clear what I did wrong, why (helps if they want to see how they could do better, but I’m not emphasizing they need to correct themselves - that would be victim blaming) but that I love them. And the very conversation shows how we can talk about our issues in general.