Just curious. Because I think it’s very “rude” in the Chinese Culture where I grew up in, to use the real names of people older than you. You have to address them by relationship like “father/dad” or “older brother” or “oldest aunt” “2nd aunt” “3rd aunt” (ordered by who was born first). Like I don’t think you are supposed to say Aunt [Name] or Uncle [Name]. Names are never used, only the relationship.
I’m under the impression that some Westerners, particularly Americans, apparantly are on first-name basis with parents… like either because they are very close, or very distant… is that really a thing irl, or is that just the media? I think I saw TV/Movie scenes where the kids (or maybe adult children) called their parent by their first names.
Scottish here, pretty sure that my mum would come down from heaven and fucking smite me if I tried that with my dad, gods or no gods.
My nephew does that. I think it’s weird.
I DID do that with my step-father but that’s different, I think, because when my mom was dating I wasn’t going to call him Dad. And after years of calling him by his name it felt weird to start calling him anything else.
(USA, Los Angeles)
Now that you mention it, I call my parents Mom and Dad (unless they really need to listen), but my kids call me by my first name. I just thought it was a generational thing, who cares.
I know someone that calls his parents by their names, and I’ve asked him why. He never has a reason other than it’s a habit.
If i didn’t know any better I’d think he disliked them.
I did it when i was younger. I said momname sometimes and dadname always. But when i had a child and he started to talk I said the titels like he would call them. Somehow now he is 15 and i stil use the titels.
I only use my parents’ first names when trying to get their attention from a distance.
Additionally if the phrase mom/dad already failed to get their attention, or if I’m in a location with many other moms/dads.
I’ve always done that with both my parents, but then again I’m Danish. It’s a radically different culture. Families are not seen as particularly inherently important here. It’s usually not even a meritocratic assessment of the family as a unit - it’s an individual one. You might like some people, you might dislike others. Either way, is has almost nothing to do with whether a blood relation exists or not.
“An asshole’s an asshole.”
Edit: Along similar philosophical lines, there’s no particular veneration of age. Age and wisdom might be proportionally related, but one does not guarantee the other. Some people manage only to grow more foolish with age. Precocious children exist.
I’d be very interested in exploring the differences between cultures more with you, assuming you’re willing.
My second son calls his mother and I by our first names and has done since he was 5. None of our other kids do that, it is something he decided to do, and has continued. He is now 16
I’ve never called my parents by their first names, and I’ve never known someone who did.
I called my grandparents “Grandma and Grandpa [Last Name]”. But my aunts and uncles were “Aunt [First Name]” and “Uncle [First Name]”. I would say that’s pretty standard for the USA.
I mostly call my moms by their first names. I almost never directly refer to them as “mom.” When talking about them to people who know them, I refer to them by their names. Basically only call them my mom to people who don’t know my parents.
I’m in the US. But I think part of the reason I do that is having multiple moms. OTOH, they are trying to teach our niece to call them grammy and nana and I know my cousins have a similar way of differentiating their moms.
My son calls me mum but his other mum (my wife) by her first name.
My oldest child is the only one who calls me by my first name. When I adopted her, I told her she didn’t have to call me “dad” unless she wanted to. I’ve heard her refer to me as “dad” when she thinks I’m not in earshot.
My mother doesn’t like her name so I use it when she exasperates me (¬_¬). It’s a little jab.
One friend of mine does that. I think it’s because his parents weren’t very close when he was growing up.
Yeah I do. Mainly it’s because my dad was always off working and so my grandparents, or his parents, did most of the work of raising me. And since he was their son, of course they were in the habit of calling him by his name. It stuck.
First name is very rare here in The Netherlands, but these days it is quite common to use the “casual” form of you (je/jij) rather than the polite form (u). That was very different some 70 years ago.
