I feel like I have the exact opposite scenario. It’s other people who don’t know how to keep a friendship alive, for me. Like, I can reach out, ask if they want to do something, and either never get anything back or get a “I already had some plans after work to play a game with so and so.”
Mind you, I let this person live with me when they wanted out of the bad situation they were in. I also was there for the “so and so” when their mother passed away. Even before then, I drove that person around because they were an adult and didn’t even have their license yet! I drove them to their mother, who was an hour away at a hospital (we live in a small town). I drove them to pick up food and whatnot. I was there for both of them, and never bothered them with any of my issues (because I could handle my own at that time).
I did all of that for these two people, and yet, somehow, I am the one left behind in the friendship. It’s just insulting. So, in my opinion, there are just a lot more people out there than isn’t that are just not good people or don’t give a fuck about anything other than themselves!
I just think the modern era, and my way of thinking, don’t jive.
Part of that falls under the “don’t show up when invited” umbrella, but mostly that sucks. I’m sorry you feel like your efforts and friendship efforts weren’t appreciated.
I’ve definitely had a couple friends (“friends”) that were lopsided. I remember posting about one way back in the 2000s on some web forum, and a guy with a otter(?) avatar told me “This guy, that flakes on your plans and only shows up when it works for him? He doesn’t respect you. Don’t put up with that”. Good advice from a small furry animal, I think.
Some people just aren’t worth it. Maybe they were in the past. Maybe they will be again. But I find it’s important to have boundaries for oneself. It can be hard to balance.
It’s entirely okay. I just don’t think I’ll meet another person who has the scruples, beliefs, or even common interests that I have. It is sad, but that’s just how it is sometimes. shrugs
Thanks for the tip! I left them behind last year, and even though I miss them, they must not feel the same because I still haven’t gotten an apology about how they dog piled on me for cracking a joke about RFK being a Trump substitute. Even more funny when I saw that he was joining Trump’s cabinet, and still heard no apologies or even acknowledgement that I was right. It’s not even about being right, I just don’t see how they could take all of those good times we shared together and throw it away for the regime.
Anyway, thanks for the talk, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day! :)
I was there for both of them, and never bothered them with any of my issues (because I could handle my own at that time).
This might actually be a factor.
It’s counterintuitive, but generally speaking favors build feelings of friendship more strongly for the person doing the favor than the ones who are being helped. By never asking for anything in return you may have unintentionally undermined yourself.
I feel like I have the exact opposite scenario. It’s other people who don’t know how to keep a friendship alive, for me. Like, I can reach out, ask if they want to do something, and either never get anything back or get a “I already had some plans after work to play a game with so and so.”
Mind you, I let this person live with me when they wanted out of the bad situation they were in. I also was there for the “so and so” when their mother passed away. Even before then, I drove that person around because they were an adult and didn’t even have their license yet! I drove them to their mother, who was an hour away at a hospital (we live in a small town). I drove them to pick up food and whatnot. I was there for both of them, and never bothered them with any of my issues (because I could handle my own at that time).
I did all of that for these two people, and yet, somehow, I am the one left behind in the friendship. It’s just insulting. So, in my opinion, there are just a lot more people out there than isn’t that are just not good people or don’t give a fuck about anything other than themselves!
I just think the modern era, and my way of thinking, don’t jive.
Part of that falls under the “don’t show up when invited” umbrella, but mostly that sucks. I’m sorry you feel like your efforts and friendship efforts weren’t appreciated.
I’ve definitely had a couple friends (“friends”) that were lopsided. I remember posting about one way back in the 2000s on some web forum, and a guy with a otter(?) avatar told me “This guy, that flakes on your plans and only shows up when it works for him? He doesn’t respect you. Don’t put up with that”. Good advice from a small furry animal, I think.
Some people just aren’t worth it. Maybe they were in the past. Maybe they will be again. But I find it’s important to have boundaries for oneself. It can be hard to balance.
Never make yourself a priority to someone who treats you as an option.
It’s entirely okay. I just don’t think I’ll meet another person who has the scruples, beliefs, or even common interests that I have. It is sad, but that’s just how it is sometimes. shrugs
Thanks for the tip! I left them behind last year, and even though I miss them, they must not feel the same because I still haven’t gotten an apology about how they dog piled on me for cracking a joke about RFK being a Trump substitute. Even more funny when I saw that he was joining Trump’s cabinet, and still heard no apologies or even acknowledgement that I was right. It’s not even about being right, I just don’t see how they could take all of those good times we shared together and throw it away for the regime.
Anyway, thanks for the talk, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day! :)
This might actually be a factor.
It’s counterintuitive, but generally speaking favors build feelings of friendship more strongly for the person doing the favor than the ones who are being helped. By never asking for anything in return you may have unintentionally undermined yourself.
I can see this point. I don’t like it, but I can see it. Humans make everything so much harder than they should be. lol