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andioop@programming.dev to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 8 hours ago

Little Timmy Tables

programming.dev

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Little Timmy Tables

programming.dev

andioop@programming.dev to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 8 hours ago
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  • NullPointerException@lemmy.ca
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    8 hours ago

    Why would Santa need two separate tables for this?

    • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      Relational database. He’s got children, which joins tonaughty and nice on childid and both record their status each year so that he can monitor trends.

    • spiffpitt@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      don’t underestimate database design in production environments

      • phorq@lemmy.ml
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        7 hours ago

        Exactly, Santa’s always watching and audit logs get complicated

    • unalivejoy@lemmy.zip
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      7 hours ago

      I would make two separate views.

      CREATE VIEW NiceList AS
       SELECT * FROM Children
        WHERE behavior = 'nice' 
         AND parent.income > 40000; 
      CREATE VIEW NaughtyList AS
       SELECT * FROM Children
        WHERE behavior = 'naughty'; 
      
      • NullPointerException@lemmy.ca
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        7 hours ago

        The income is a nice touch.

      • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 hours ago

        Why are we using magic strings for behavior?

        • djmikeale@feddit.dk
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          40 minutes ago

          He used to have an is_nice bool but consultants convinced Santa it isn’t future proof enough to capture the nuances of kids behaviour in today’s world, such as “nice but always is really smug about it”. But the consultants kept making PowerPoints instead of updating the backend, so now Santa also has added a new value to behaviour: “consultant-like”

        • The Octonaut@mander.xyz
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          4 hours ago

          It’s an ENUM and other people have to read this fucking codebase too, Brian!

          • Olap@lemmy.world
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            22 minutes ago

            I’ve a DBA who would insist on this being in a dimension table and using a foreign key constraint instead of just a fucking string

        • unalivejoy@lemmy.zip
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          5 hours ago

          Feel free to fork my comment.

          • Tja@programming.dev
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            24 minutes ago

            Does Santa accept PRs?

      • criss_cross@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        The poor kids can’t even afford coal and fall through the cracks.

      • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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        6 hours ago

        You forgot the join smh

        • unalivejoy@lemmy.zip
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          5 hours ago

          Omitted for brevity.

      • Willy@sh.itjust.works
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        7 hours ago

        stop static “variables”! use COL. congress should do the same for setting minimum wage. eg parent.income > COL

    • chocrates@piefed.world
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      6 hours ago

      Once you get a few thousand columns wide you create a naughty_list2 for the new data

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