I lost a relative recently and I’ve been struggling with the grieving aspect. I haven’t cried or gotten visceral anger. I’m mostly just generally unpleasant right now. Impatient, easily annoyed and lack energy. Part of it is the cognitive dissonance associated. The individual was complicated, more good in the world overall, but, undeniably a lot of bad too.
Does it help you to think that way?
Say your friend has a video game you want. If you fight being jealous of them because it’s a “negative emotion,” then you’re just going to be resentful. Instead, if you consider it being a clue that you really want that video game and work towards it, you can then be happy that the person has that video game and your brain will work on it to get you it. It uncomplicates things.
This can be true and the example you’ve provided demonstrates the point well enough. There are certainly unhelpful emotions though. I have a panic disorder which can be triggered by a few things. I’m already aware of why this happens and understand that my fear, paranoia, and sense of impending doom are byproducts of chemical imbalance. I know they’re trying to help me survive an expected threat that doesn’t exist. Those experiences offer no actionable insight. Only disruption.
It helps if I’m able to recognize that emotional reactivity as bad and worth breathing through instead of addressing or intellectualizing. They’re just bad and need to pass so I can get back to being me.
This is an edge case and most emotional processing is trying to tell us something helpful. Not always though!
Oh for sure. It sounds like you have a great way to let them pass by. That’s the intention behind what I’m saying that works for most people, but not all, as you said.