Both or one of them. And presuming they’re still alive, of course.

  • HurricaneLiz@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    It took 10 years then finally meeting again at my Grandparents’ home, and realizing my mother was scared shitless of me. That took the power back, like I wasn’t a defenseless, dependant 16 year old anymore. It’s like she knew better than to ever bring up right-wing political cult stuff after that ever again. She died in 2020, so ig I’m glad she never lived to see the current state of affairs

  • Catfish@aussie.zone
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    8 hours ago

    Nothing. She is utterly unrepentant and claims no idea what she did. One sibling is also no contact. The other is involved, therefore I decline to communicate because they cannot be trusted to not pass on information.

  • remon@ani.social
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    9 hours ago

    Haven’t had contact with my dad for at least 12 years. No reason really we’re just both the kind of person to not call, so there isn’t anything to mend. I assume the next time I’ll be seeing him is at his mum’s funeral.

  • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    On the flip side, I have cut all contact with the youngest of my four children (he is turning 24 in a month) due to bigotry, fascistic tendencies, rampant narcissism and believing in and supporting things that make me absolutely nauseous. My other three kids don’t talk to him either. We all call him the white sheep in a black sheep family, as he’s very normative, straight white supremacist, etc. I’m rather surprised he doesn’t go to church despite being atheist his whole life.

  • spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works
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    13 hours ago

    My brother’s a textbook malignant narcissist who will literally lecture everyone around him about how wonderful he is. He pulls shitty, manipulative BS, lies about his innocence with a straight face and then does it again the next day.

    My brother is what he is and there’s nothing he could ever say or do that would convince me otherwise.

  • wirelesswire@lemmy.zip
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    14 hours ago

    Nothing. My parents went through a nasty divorce that I was dragged through the middle of. During that ordeal, my mom made it abundantly clear how she felt about me. I now maintain a strict no-contact policy regarding her, for both my sanity and safety.

  • sparkles@piefed.zip
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    16 hours ago

    Nothing, absolutely never going to happen. It has been many, many years and they moved on more easily than me…almost like my going NC did them a favor. My dad passed before Covid, and he was the only one I had a relationship with in adulthood, and I miss him. I have no idea what has become of the rest of my family over the years. I am mostly fine. There’s no use mourning awful people for decades. I do it once or twice a year and that’s more of the mourning an idea of what having a family would be.

    • mourning an idea of what having a family would be

      I sometimes fanticized about an alternate timeline where my parents were much more lovely.

      I mean I do keep trying to remember the moments where I really love spending time with my mom… but unfortunately those memories are far and between… so much of the emotional abuse in between it… so much times where I cried…

      I’m just desparately hanging on to those good memories…

      I refuse to believe my mom is evil… its as if an alien shapeshifter took her place… the mother I should’ve had…

      I sometimes just wish I was born to a Norweigian family… imagine the happiness…

      unfortunately… their population is so low… odds of being born there is so miniscule… reincarnation could be a thing, and you can die 100 times and still never make it there. most likely be born in some developing country…

      universe so cruel…

      welp, its either that or eternal nothingness… which is just also fucking sad… nothing will ever happen again…

      • sparkles@piefed.zip
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        7 hours ago

        I think the best thing you can do is really become independent of your family, from reading other posts. And put some distance between yourself and them. I’m sure if you became successful, they would attempt to financially abuse you if they could. For similar reasons that is why my response to this question is a hard no, never going back.

        Good news is you can choose who to surround yourself with in life. It does take a lot of the sting out.

      • Lupie@sopuli.xyz
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        12 hours ago

        If infinity exists, you’ll eventually experience every life you’ve ever imagined and many more you can’t.

    • spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works
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      10 hours ago

      I use to feel the same way. The older I get the more convinced I am that the only thing worse than having no family is having a family.

      • sparkles@piefed.zip
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        7 hours ago

        There are times it would be convenient. Certainly less lonely. I think it would be worth it for the right people. But not everyone wins that lottery.

  • SaneMartigan@aussie.zone
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    17 hours ago

    An apology, acknowledgement of wrongdoings and the $400k dad cost me by ignoring my grandfathers wishes for the inheritance. Writing that out, I’ll likely never talk to him again.

  • chosensilence@pawb.social
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    17 hours ago

    nothing. my father is a fascist and refuses to acknowledge how homophobic and violent about it he was towards me as a teenager. he can apologize for the way he treated me but supporting Trump twice is unforgivable.

  • EvilBit@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    For both: a genuine, non-narcissist’s apology. The kind my stepson knew how to do when he was 11.

    So basically, nothing realistic.

  • Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca
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    17 hours ago

    Mother: Can prove that they are in recovery from drugs, apologize for selling/trafficking me for drugs, and almost murdering me.

    Father: Apologize for abandoning me, and take an active interest in my life.

  • disregardable@lemmy.zip
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    16 hours ago

    I am low contact, but she is way too mentally ill to have positive relationships with people. I sympathize that she can’t control it, but it’s kind of like asking me to put my hand on a stove to please someone else. I truly gain nothing but unpleasant feelings from being around her. I feel nothing but aversion to the thought of being around her. Even as a child I avoided her.