I learned that my last therapist would rather talk at me and give me all the textbook talk and exercises rather than allow me to talk and tailor the therapy to my needs.

The therapist before that was alright and from him I learned I disassociated from a lot of childhood due to relatives dying (my sister, great grandparents, uncles, my dad), my dad leaving, moving to another country and eventually dying. I never cried as a child and only started expressing proper emotion after my daughter was born. I’ve also been cheated on in every major relationship I’ve had. My daughter’s mother left me after cheating on me, I had to move out and not see my daughter daily,fell into a severe pit of depression after feeling I’d lost everything. I truly believe I’m the issue in every relationship, friend or otherwise, that I have. I talk with people, they seem nice and we get along then boom, ghosted. Every. Single. Time. I don’t have anyone around me that really puts in the effort to reach out and make the effort to connect with me.

To be honest I feel like my problems don’t seem nearly as bad as others which makes me feel like a fraud.

I may have went off track a tad here and my message feels severely fragmented. I’m sorry I’ll see myself out