Long story short I have never been successful in dating in any shape or form and it’s starting to really affect my everyday life. I have been in therapy for over 7 years (recently quit) to no avail. I am already on antidepressants which thankfully dampens my libido a bit but I now I want it all the way gone.
So anyway, should I tell my family about this? Nothing will really change if I do, but a part of me is telling they ought to know, you know? But I am not sure if I want to.
You may be pursuing the wrong goal. Taking strong T blockers to nuke your testosterone will likely slash your libido. However, if this was just about sex, if you were just horny…well escorts are are a thing. But people seek out partners for far more than just intimacy. The sex really is a small part of a relationship. What you’re really seeking in your heart of hearts is companionship, love, and romantic fulfillment. Nuking your libido won’t solve that fundamental human longing.
Also, you really don’t want to be without any active sex hormone. Your system can run on T or E, but it needs one or the other. With all your hormones at low levels, you’re at risk for menopausal symptoms like osteoporosis, cardiovascular effects, hot flashes, brain fog, etc. You could take estrogen along with the blockers to avoid these effects, but that would have severe issues (assuming a gender transition isn’t something you desire.) If you tried to take estrogen along with the T blockers, that would cause a high level of feminization - you would basically be doing trans hormone therapy at that point. And the E might cause your libido to come back as well.
Dropping your T level to near zero will produce serious long-term health effects that you really don’t want to experience. If someone told me they were, like, a non-offending pedophile who desperately wanted to nuke their libido before they hurt someone, well in that case I might say the negative health effects are worth it. But by doing this, you’re signing yourself up for serious long-term health effects, all for something that is unlikely to really solve the true source of your pain.
No. No, I ain’t. I’m aromantic. I don’t feel like that towards other people. A relationship feels like a compromise to me. Always has been.
As for the drop in T and its effects. I’ll discuss it with my psychiatrist, thanks for the info.
Ok, then why not just hire an escort once in awhile when you’re feeling like getting frisky? That will won’t have the health effects of blocking T. Probably would be cheaper in the long run considering medical costs.
It’s a pride thing. But who knows if the T blocking measures truly are that detrimental I might consider it.
Understood. Try not to get too discouraged. I met my husband when we were both 27, and I was his first partner. You’re not as doomed as you think.
Seconding this on going without sex hormones, from first-hand experience: it’s absolutely not a place for a depressive to be, to the point where I would consider a psychiatrist willing to okay it for a depressive patient to be dangerously ignorant, at best. I urge you to seek out a new mental health team for this and other reasons.
Also, I’m surprised no one’s mentioned this: sex with friends is a thing. I’ve had just as much sex with friends in my life as I have in committed relationships. It just requires good communication and boundaries.