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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • RBWells@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.worldThis?
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    4 hours ago

    I think Alzheimer’s is complicated by having a body, though. My grandma had it and was happy, not angry. It sucked for us and for her because she eventually forgot how to eat & take care of herself at all. To have that lack of understanding of reality doesn’t seem nearly as bad if you are a disembodied consciousness, as this suggests. It seems more like a death than the other choices.

    Alternate Dimension I would go for only if it was a gamble not a certain “being torn to shreds by demons over and over” situation.



  • Emotionally ready like am I ok with it, or would I rage rage against the dying of the light? Yes I think so, I could go gently.

    Don’t want to, still happy but I am not that worried, if I had to I could, my kids are grown, I have experienced a lot of stuff, learned a lot, enjoyed being alive and physically embodied, probably more than many people do in a lifetime. I would not feel like I got ripped off or anything.



  • Yeah I am often so shocked that people think the modern world is dangerous. Like, I guess, but crime where I live has dropped precipitously since I was a kid here, especially violent crime, so I always want to laugh when someone talks about a ‘rough neighborhood’ or worries I am walking somewhere. Crime has been dropping for the last 50 years!

    The most dangerous place to go is the past.


  • I was a single mom of 4 when dating so was not open to dating childless men my age. Ended up with so many kids without having more, when we consolidated, but they all get along and as adults are happy for the network of siblings. They are much closer than I was with my brothers and sisters.

    I absolutely would NOT have expected a childless man to be into me - it would have been an uphill battle to convince me. If I had been younger, maybe, but it seemed like anyone my age would have already had kids if they wanted some.




  • I worked with a lady whose married name was Xu, she’d kept it when she divorced him. She was Laotian. (Really cool lady, grew up in refugee camp, married high roller Chinese guy, got t educated, when they divorced she moved to the US and was successful on her own). One day i forwarded her an email from a vendor, his name long and unpronounceable, and she looked at it and said, oh! That is the same as my maiden name! I could see why she kept the last name of the Chinese husband :)



  • We have a road that goes under a bridge so that you can make a right to go east on a 4 lane road. People would sit at that corner waiting to go left and it caused massive backups. (Which made no sense, why go under the bridge then? Use a different corner and make a right to go west!). We asked the city to make it right turn only - they interpreted it slightly differently and thought we meant people were heading straight the wrong way up a one way, rather than turning to that corner, came and put a temporary sign. I went with one of my kids, wearing safety vests, and moved the temporary sign to the corner we wanted it at.

    Later the city came and put the permanent sign where we had it, and ALSO changed the paint on the road to make it one way right at the corner and disallowed left turns INTO that corner, they just broadly said no left. Which is good. Nobody should be stopping at the bottom of a bridge to wait to make a left turn.

    It’s not like NOBODY does the left anymore, but there are not backups now because nobody is going to sit there waiting to go left, they get honked at.


  • I have a 6 week wishlist for most smaller stuff, to avoid impulse buying. More like 6 months for something like a computer and 6 years for something like a home renovation.

    I think if you’ve waited so long and still want the same thing it’s safe to say you really want it and will enjoy it.

    Oh - another thing you can do - we have a savings account but also a “goal savings account” that is for things like this, specific items that cost sort of a lot (or a whole lot, for years now it’s been saving for a car for my husband.) Save the money away from the regular accounts so it is your extra money.




  • Borns made some of the best indie pop on the radio, got in trouble for grooming, disappeared. One of the most heartbreaking losses musically for us. Then years later tried a comeback but seems to be an unrepentant whiny bitch now, the song he released was so bad. It seems to have broken him.

    I still think his early stuff is so good.

    Ender’s Game is a great book, and I did keep my Neil Gaiman books, the ones I already have.

    I think in general (obviously there are exceptions) broken people make the greatest art, it’s hard to have that drive when you don’t have some sadness inside you, dissatisfaction, some missing part you are trying to fill. And with old guys (not Garrett Borns) they did grow up in a different time - I don’t think that excuses them, but it does explain it. My mom thought Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 14 year old cousin was scandalous but wouldn’t have thought it criminal or really wrong.



  • Yes. I tried mangoes every year untill I liked them, avocado too. Raw tomatoes I keep trying, can tolerate, can’t like.

    Last year I made a deal with my coworker, who is a wine person but such a picky eater he went to Japan and just ate chicken tenders, same in the middle east. I told him if he honestly tried eating new foods I would try wines. He found some foods he likes, and I found I like dry elegant white wines (nothing sweet) and most wines made of Nebbiolo grapes, like instead of just sort of holding my nose and tolerating them, I can affirmatively like them .

    I truly believe a wide palate is a positive quality, I gave my kids lots of different tasting foods when they were little and that helped them to enjoy more flavors. I think technically I’m picky (have strong likes and dislikes) but like so, so many foods it’s not limiting. And yes, I do try to like some of the foods I don’t.




  • To answer your question - your judgemental family is the problem, not your cleaning. I have my own (pretty loose) cleaning standards, they don’t apply to others. If someone invites me to their house, it would have to be pretty dirty before I might say something, and even then more because I might be worried about them.

    We do kind of a lot of ongoing maintenance, run the Roomba twice a day and have help - we pay for every other week deep cleaning. But generally speaking yes there is cat hair and dust. We live in the world, the world is made of dirt.