Welcome to journalism in 202x

Crimes against persons/police officers were also pardoned

Too bad court orders cant be enforced

Leopards would never eat a judge’s face.

There is actually a way to sideload apps without internet. I did it once and forgot the details

Shit up about the eggs!

Russian President Musk

I got their voice widget, its slow and stupid.

Need to figure out how to connect it to a gpu

Risking? Wtf

Basic Florida Man

Back when my cat was alive I got occasional reports that he would enter various other houses nearby and meow by the fridge until he was given a cold cut.

But all females have been deleted from nasa

Moonshine

Confirmed, am moron.

Looking at you, Texas Instruments

Seriously? I assumed sterile hybrid

What about seedless watermelon

How much time has passed? This is perfectly normal depreciation for a computer over 2-3 years.

Every single time I open the perfect question the only answer is “we already covered this, use the search”

Light some fireworks with the kids at 8pm, plan to do the good stuff at midnight, fall asleep at 10:30.