

In case you want a good recipe for sauce:
- One can puréed tomatoes
- One can diced tomatoes
- Spices. This is whatever your taste is, like garlic, onion powder, the seven components of Italian seasoning, white pepper, hot pepper flakes, etc.; I recognize this is kind of “restofthefuckingowl”, but I just have a big Mediterranean mix I keep in a jar.
- Kale leaves, torn
- Crushed sliced almonds (bag of sliced almonds and crushed by hand)
- Sour cream (I used Tofutti vegan sour cream; can’t attest to dairy-based)
- Olive oil
- Diced, sautéed oyster mushrooms
I went about this in a dumb way and only sautéed the oyster mushrooms, but for better flavor, you could sautée with olive oil, crushed garlic, spices, almonds, kale, and oyster mushrooms, then pour the tomatoes and sour cream on top of that once you feel they’re cooked well enough.
I know that’s high-effort compared to jarred, but the flavor is really something. Take out everything but the tomatoes, olive oil, and spices, and you can still have a really good but almost-no-effort sauce.














And here’s your “you helped enable this; don’t expect a pat on the back” trophy.