The real advice is always in the comments

Yes, but what creature would openly admit to being related to us?

Lag

Unless they bury you in those good boxes

I wish you well

That reminds me of when I was a kid, farting in the bath. As I saw the bubbles coming up to the surface, I wanted to catch them.

So I took whatever plastic container I could find around the bath - most likely the cap of a shampoo bottle - submerged it, and held it close to my butt when I felt the next fart coming.

I succeeded in catching some of the fart in the cap. Then I claimed my prize by sniffing directly from the cap. It was so much worse than any fart I’ve ever smelled.

As a true scientist, I’ve repeated the experiment on a few later occasions, and without a doubt : bath farts captured in plastic containers smell much worse than normal farts.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

You could try zen browser

“…so I painted him a picture of ME…”

To bee or not to bee, that is the question.

It’s a well oiled machine that turns the greed of some people into the misery for other people

Choking hazard

I would’ve thought that you were twins and thought that 8 hours of sleep meant for both of you together.

Not that I get 8 hours of sleep, mind you

How old are you in human years?

You can’t find them because you from 15 minutes in the future took them, duh.

That’s because he wants to climb to Mars on his pile of money, and right now it’s not quite high enough

It’s a foghorn

At this point in my life it mostly resembles the 10 hour cinematic masterpiece Paint Drying

You need a key though, which only the landlord has

I think you wanted to say “you f🦆k-cakes”