I don’t hate Christmas, but it’s a holiday that relies on tradition and I derive no joy from traditions. The whole “we’re doing this because it’s been done every previous year of our life” schtick just rubs me wrong. I recognise that for some people there is comfort in tradition. For me however it feels more like indoctrination.

I no long hate Christmas but many years ago I was a cleaner in a shopping mall food court. The food court was on the second floor and right below was a 40 piece brass band playing Christmas music on the weekend. The rest of the time the mall had the sound system cranked full. People had to yell as loud as they could to place food orders at the restaurants.

To the day, I still don’t like that music.

So I’m going to preface with the fact that I don’t hate Christmas. I thought I did for a long time but forced to actually stop and consider it, that’s not an accurate statement.

However, I do object to a lot of how Christmas is portrayed and celebrated now (UK if that make a difference)

• it’s a family affair: every TV program, every billboard, every commercial on the radio is telling you that this is a family occasion, a coming together. For those of us that are divorced or otherwise alone, it’s a really fucking lonely time of year precisely because you’re effectively being told from all angles that if you’re not at the centre of a massive family celebration, you’re a sad loser

• too long: it’s one day, maybe one week if you can extend it all. For this we have to have 3 months of build up? It’s too much, builds all the stress and makes the actual day unlikely to live up to the hype

• Music: saccharine Christmas music from November onwards. I have a playlist of music that I can stand and I listen to it occasionally (I’m listening to it now). So sorry to anyone working in retail who has to listen to it on repeat

• competitive: did you have the most lights? Most people round? Fanciest meal? Tell us all about it. Please, call in to the radio because we really care

• unchanging tradition: people who have to have it exactly as it was when they were young and force everyone else to conform to that singular vision

So over the last couple of years I’ve had time and space to focus on what do I want it to be and I’ve decided that for me Christmas is about: light and warmth and love.

I don’t need anything else but pretty lights to look at, a warm house and the love of my family and friends. I now see Christmas cards as a little present, a bundle of love. I send them with a message because I’m saying that I love you with each one.

I’ve told my boys they don’t need to buy me anything, just their presence is all I need to make me happy.

I make sure to focus on seeing my friends and making sure they know that I appreciate them.

This has all helped massively. I still get the lonely feeling - tonight I’ll be by myself on Christmas Eve and that’s hard, but I can concentrate on what it means to me and that helps loads.

I used to hate Xmas like hell. Everyone’s in a forced “happy”-disguise, buying stupid presents at the last minute, annoyed and stressed. And everyone expecting me to buy super expensive gifts, just because “you’re loaded!” While still making zero efforts to gift something thoughtful back (because “you already have everything”). I were happy when it was over for like 40 years of stinky fucking Xmas shit.

Then I met my wife, we cut out ALL toxic people from our life, noone expects anything, we gift tons of tiny silly things we enjoy getting or making ourselves (the best gifts!), spend hours wrapping the stuff and then we have a fucking great Xmas for ourselves with great food, beautiful thoughtful gifts, watch some movies etc. Now I learned to love Xmas.

My point? If you’re not forced to work in retail with those aweful people and ghastly playlists, it’s not the fault of Xmas, it’s just the toxic people around you that spoil everything.

You’re not alone in hating Christmas, though for me it’s different: it’s the stress of having to celebrate, be happy, and get people presents. I don’t want to be forced to or pretend to be happy, I have nothing to celebrate, and if I want to give someone a present I don’t need to wait for Christmas (and if I don’t want to give a present, I shouldn’t be required to).

Basically, Christmas is just another way to make people spent a lot of money with the pretense of it being “the happiest time of the year” (for someone else).

I had the right not to be happy, don’t mandate that I should be happy during Christmas.

• Forcing each other to give gift we can’t afford to people that doesn’t need them and probably will end up in a landfill in 2 years time. PD: It would be really interesting to research Christmas impact on the environment.

• Forcing each other to be appear to be happy when a lot of incredibly shitty shit is happening around the world. I’d rather call it Double blindfold holiday!

• Telling a mandatory lie to kids, that is effectively their forced introduction to a society that values and encourages deception and the disconnection from reality.

Fuck Christmas!!!

2 reasons. Firstly I’m just extra shit at buying presents. I like to think I’m generous and thoughtful but I just don’t get “presents”. Like everyone works and buys the things that they want.

What the fuck is the point of a gift card? “oh I know you like buying things so here’s a card which will allow you to buy a selection of things from one or more specific vendors who I assume you regularly shop at.”

This has gotten a bit easier as I’ve gotten older and a bit more financially stable so not so restricted on price I guess. This year in August I saw these great massage guns on sale for half price so I just bought 6 of them to dish out for Christmas presents.

The other is forced social arrangements. Just today my partner said I’m going to this thing for Christmas lunch tomorrow. I said I’m not. She insisted. I didn’t respond.

I don’t want to be an asshole partner who doesn’t go anywhere but… I feel like the only reason she wants me to go is because that’s what normal people do. Like lets go to this thing full of people you hate and pretend to be happy and normal. I only have to stick it out for 2 hours so will see how that’s going tomorrow.

I hate christmas because of how some people get so stressed out about it all.

I really don’t like getting presents in company. I’m an Autist and don’t react as people would expect, so masking sets in which is very stressful.

I don’t necessarily hate Christmas but I truly don’t like all the forced obligations that come with it.

• Forced to socialize with people you barely see or hear from.
• Forced to be present, socializing and fake laughing at Christmas events (work, family and acquaintances).
• There’s always one person that thinks the whole universe is about them.
• When you are silent, there’s apparently something wrong. You must have fun at Christmas events!

Personally, not really fond of socializing to be honest. I’m an introvert, it’s fine to socialize for an hour but an entire day of forced socializing is a disaster. Don’t like it.

Could write a day about this but, I suppose this sums it up.

I decided long ago that Christmas and birthdays just wasn’t for me. Easy enough when I live alone.

I don’t decorate, don’t eat anything out of the ordinary, don’t dress up. It’s just a normal day, that passes without much ado. Hate is too strong a word, I just ignore it.

1. Deep down I’m still an edgy militant atheist, and really want nothing to do with religious celebrations.

2. The only things I really want are things I’m not realistically going to be gifted. No one’s going to buy and install a new heater/windows/deck for me for Christmas, or pay down my credit card, etc. I have too much junk already, I have all the clothes I need, I don’t really need more snacks in the house, and I’m pretty much set up with everything I need/want for my hobbies. I don’t need gifts. Inevitably I’m going to get a bunch of junk I don’t need or want, and I’m gonna take it straight home and throw it out or donate it or otherwise I’m going to spend the next eternity shuffling around my house because I don’t have anywhere to put it.

3. I’m probably a bit autistic or maybe just a bit dead inside, so even on the rare occasion I get a gift I’m really excited about I don’t really have much of a reaction to it, which I feel is disappointing to the people giving it to me.

4. I really hate decorating and then having to take it all down a month or so later, having to haul all this crap down from the attic and then back up again is a real drag. It’s part of the reason I get a real tree, it’s easier to just strap it back onto my roof and haul it to my friend’s house to burn in their fire pit (which is very cathartic) than to try to wrestle it back up the ladder. My wife likes it, so I suffer through it, I just wish she’d do more of the work.

5. I don’t want to spend money. I have things I want to save for and dropping a couple hundred bucks on presents isn’t helping that. I don’t mind getting people gifts if it’s something I think they really need or wound like, but thats usually not why I’m buying them stuff for Christmas, I’m getting them stuff because I feel obligated to get them something.

6. Family gatherings suck. As far as families go mine isn’t too bad, I’d even say I kind of like most of them, but getting all of them in the room together and having to spend most of the day with them is too much. There’s too many people, it’s too loud, and while they’re generally all good people, I don’t really have enough in common with most of them to make it worth the aggravation, they’re best enjoyed in small doses. My wife’s family is smaller and quieter, which would be great, except they want the gathering to go on all day, my wife is bringing stuff over to make breakfast and it sounds like they plan to keep things going until at least dinner, so thats probably gonna be a 12+ hour ordeal when you figure in the time it takes to go over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house. Also, most of our family just aren’t great cooks, and even if they were there are some picky eaters in the family, so family meals are pretty lackluster. I think my wife’s family’s dinner plans are a stouffers lasagna. Luckily I have to work this year so I have a good excuse not to go.

7. Christmas music can be good, but not the stuff that’s been piped into every single fucking store I’ve had to go to for the last month, and I’m sick of it.

8. This is mostly just a me-problem, but I have way too much shit going on this time of year. My anniversary is in November, then thanksgiving which we usually do with my father in law who’s about an hour away, my wife’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, christmas even which is usually with my family, usually about 45 minutes away depending on who’s hosting, Christmas day is usually with my mother in law about an hour away, and then after that I usually host a new years eve party and between work and holiday obligations it’s kind of crazy trying to get my house ready for that.

9. I work in 911 dispatch, we always get some really crazy/sad calls around this time of year. I deal with it just fine personally, but it doesn’t exactly put me in a holly jolly mood.

10. I don’t know, I made it this far and just kind of wanted to leave it on a nice round number I guess… Maybe I find tinsel distracting?

the same shitty Xmas playlist over and over all day.

This pretty much sums it up. Music is a big part of my life, and to hear it be so… corporate and someone-has-a-case-of-the-mondays vibed makes me sick.

Because I have this stupid condition named Avoidant Personality Disorder, which means i long for contact with people, but the more i know them, the more i start avoiding them because i do not trust the contact to be genuine. Add a dash of paranoid traits and *BANG*, you’ve got the perfect mixture for a complete lack of social contact even if the possibility exists.