Job interview trainers be like:
You’re supposed to do a throughout research on the company, and write a nice little story how much you’re a fan of the company, and how much you want to work there, and you spent all your life on training to be able to work at a company like that.
“Why did you apply here and not at the other company?”
“I applied there too and the interview is tomorrow.”It is a fucking stupid question. I’m supposed to invent some horse shit about why this is an awesome company that I specifically chose, and simply being truthful “you’re recruiting and I need a job” isn’t acceptable.
I just turn it around. “I have blah blah skills and interests. It looks like you need blah and offer blah opportunity.” It’s easy for me, though, because I have a specialty certification.
“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
“In your company.”
at a much better company after this one died chasing the crypto/AI/whatever magical tech comes next trend
I always had a hard time with this one, I just say successful lmao.
I don’t know the ins and outs of your company, what any kind of progression may look like, what opportunities will present themselves, etc, the question just always seemed odd.
I won’t rule out trying this.
I’m also eager to try: “What are your strengths?” “I am extremely humble.”
My humility knows no bounds.
Cant you see my fucking jacket? I am a doctor! Or maybe lab scientist…
Why did you choose our company?
Bitch! I’m broke!
We joke, but the number of duds in interviews is crazy. The answer doesn’t matter, having an answer matters.
you hiring?
Yeah, what are you good at?
I bring 12 years of experience with system x and system y. I’m an engineer but I enjoy selling customers solutions, not just telling them what they need to buy.
“Thanks for your time, we’ll call you later.”
proceeds to receive an automated rejection email after 2 weeks of waiting
You guys get answers?
I get a cryptic ARG that lasts two years, which at the end just says “You’re rejected, lol”
“Claud tell me why I should by excited to join this company”
“well i can give you a 20 page dissertation on the ways aziraphale loves crowley”
As long as you don’t delve into Deaniel/Castean…
there is only destiel, sammeg, dreamhunter, sheriff wives, and darlie bradbaum :3
(disclosure this is in jest; i’m not policing anyone else’s ship!)
Bold of you to assume they don’t ghost us before it gets this far
Because I need money
