Also, when I said “it’s from the article”, I was literally trying to give credit to the original author, since it seemed like you were attributing that to me. Feels weird to be downvoted for that.
I’m not responding to both of your comments separately. Take this as my response to both:
Please see the comment you responded to about telling them to “read the fucking article” like a douche. So, to quote you, “did you read my fucking comment?”
Again, there was no need to talk down to them like that.
“Actually, in the full article, the author elaborates that they really mean X and give these possible solutions…”
See how it can be done without the douchenozzlery?
If you want people on your side, maybe have a little bit of grace.
So all of this tone policing because I wanted to say RTFM, decided that the initialism didn’t work with RTFA and spelled it out instead, and failed to drop the superfluous “fucking”, thereby making it sound overly harsh. I thought since “fucking” was modifying “article” that the profanity wasn’t directed at the commenter, but still expressed some exasperation on my part.
You’re right, I should have dropped the “fucking”. I was upset because I had just read the article about a topic that concerns me greatly, scanned the comments to see if there was any sense of solidarity that “hey, this is a problem we need to address” and got frustrated when the first comment I read was something that shot from the hip and completely ignored the entirety of the actual article. If not for that, I probably would’ve edited the “fucking” out. That was a failure on my part.
You’re right, that did come across overly aggressive and I apologize to the original commenter. It’s hard to convey tone with text and obviously I failed to communicate this as I never intended my comment to sound so aggressive that it warranted everything that I got in response.
Go back and read everything I’ve written, but omit the word “fucking” and I think you’ll see that one concession to my frustration stands in contrast to the rest of my messages where I was blunt but otherwise respectful. I provided quotes and deflected credit to the original author when it seemed like the credit was being given to me. I never engaged in personal attacks and my only actual criticism was literally that opening line. I hope that demonstrates my true intentions, which were apparently buried by the overly aggressive opening.
I’ve since been told I have shitty behavior and that I’m a “douche”. I never called anyone names, and literally my only call out was “did you even read the fucking article?” You’ve been an order of magnitude more aggressive than I was in the first place and I’ve gotten downvoted and chastised and called names while you’ve gotten supportive comments. I’ve apologized for my behavior without any expectation of reciprocation.
I hate conflict. I hate arguing. It makes me want to just not participate at all online. I don’t need this and as an autistic man it gives me a great deal of stress. I don’t expect you or anyone else to understand or care which is why ordinarily I just lurk online because people seem so eager to jump down my throat. Feels weird and shitty to be accused of doing the same when I failed to police my tone appropriately.
Normally when I do speak up, I’m a consensus maker, trying to bring people together. In fact, this particular topic inspired me to speak up because I’m deathly scared of the direction that current events seem to be headed and I wanted to set my comfort aside in the hopes of seeing that there were other people who wanted to combat this.
It’s disheartening that as fascists worldwide are gaining traction, the most relevant article I’ve seen in a while about it and what to do about it has had discussion completely derailed by criticism about the clickbait headline and subsequent tone policing. If this is where all our energy is going, no wonder fascists are seeing so little pushback.
I get your frustration and honestly I probably took some shit out on you I shouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve it either. I didn’t exactly live by my own words, did I?
Yeah, this whole thing got fucked up. I’m sorry. You’re a good person and I shouldn’t have kept piling on. I used you more as a vehicle to vent at someone than anything truly meaningful. You didn’t deserve that and again, I’m sorry.
Don’t let me scare you away. I’m an admitted unapologetic ass myself. I’ve gotten so tired of being nice and seeing everything still go to shit that now I’m just tired of being nice. But that’s not fair and doesn’t help either.
I dunno what else to say other than fuck me and I hope you move past this and keep posting.
I totally get the frustration from watching people talk past each other, neither side taking anything positive away from the exchange, arguing for the sake of arguing or a misplaced desire to “own” the other one. It’s exhausting and there’s lots of times I want to do exactly what you did, so I truly do understand.
No hard feelings, and I really do appreciate the apology. We all get heated sometimes… it’s easy to do on the internet, especially when text makes it easy to misinterpret tone.
It’s nice to end things on a positive note and on the same page - as I said, I’m a consensus builder. For what it’s worth, you were absolutely right that taking your emotion out of your argument and just being sincere works, at least when someone is approaching things in good faith, which I believe we both were.
Also, when I said “it’s from the article”, I was literally trying to give credit to the original author, since it seemed like you were attributing that to me. Feels weird to be downvoted for that.
I’m not responding to both of your comments separately. Take this as my response to both:
Please see the comment you responded to about telling them to “read the fucking article” like a douche. So, to quote you, “did you read my fucking comment?”
Again, there was no need to talk down to them like that.
“Actually, in the full article, the author elaborates that they really mean X and give these possible solutions…”
See how it can be done without the douchenozzlery?
If you want people on your side, maybe have a little bit of grace.
So all of this tone policing because I wanted to say RTFM, decided that the initialism didn’t work with RTFA and spelled it out instead, and failed to drop the superfluous “fucking”, thereby making it sound overly harsh. I thought since “fucking” was modifying “article” that the profanity wasn’t directed at the commenter, but still expressed some exasperation on my part.
You’re right, I should have dropped the “fucking”. I was upset because I had just read the article about a topic that concerns me greatly, scanned the comments to see if there was any sense of solidarity that “hey, this is a problem we need to address” and got frustrated when the first comment I read was something that shot from the hip and completely ignored the entirety of the actual article. If not for that, I probably would’ve edited the “fucking” out. That was a failure on my part.
You’re right, that did come across overly aggressive and I apologize to the original commenter. It’s hard to convey tone with text and obviously I failed to communicate this as I never intended my comment to sound so aggressive that it warranted everything that I got in response.
Go back and read everything I’ve written, but omit the word “fucking” and I think you’ll see that one concession to my frustration stands in contrast to the rest of my messages where I was blunt but otherwise respectful. I provided quotes and deflected credit to the original author when it seemed like the credit was being given to me. I never engaged in personal attacks and my only actual criticism was literally that opening line. I hope that demonstrates my true intentions, which were apparently buried by the overly aggressive opening.
I’ve since been told I have shitty behavior and that I’m a “douche”. I never called anyone names, and literally my only call out was “did you even read the fucking article?” You’ve been an order of magnitude more aggressive than I was in the first place and I’ve gotten downvoted and chastised and called names while you’ve gotten supportive comments. I’ve apologized for my behavior without any expectation of reciprocation.
I hate conflict. I hate arguing. It makes me want to just not participate at all online. I don’t need this and as an autistic man it gives me a great deal of stress. I don’t expect you or anyone else to understand or care which is why ordinarily I just lurk online because people seem so eager to jump down my throat. Feels weird and shitty to be accused of doing the same when I failed to police my tone appropriately.
Normally when I do speak up, I’m a consensus maker, trying to bring people together. In fact, this particular topic inspired me to speak up because I’m deathly scared of the direction that current events seem to be headed and I wanted to set my comfort aside in the hopes of seeing that there were other people who wanted to combat this.
It’s disheartening that as fascists worldwide are gaining traction, the most relevant article I’ve seen in a while about it and what to do about it has had discussion completely derailed by criticism about the clickbait headline and subsequent tone policing. If this is where all our energy is going, no wonder fascists are seeing so little pushback.
I get your frustration and honestly I probably took some shit out on you I shouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve it either. I didn’t exactly live by my own words, did I?
Yeah, this whole thing got fucked up. I’m sorry. You’re a good person and I shouldn’t have kept piling on. I used you more as a vehicle to vent at someone than anything truly meaningful. You didn’t deserve that and again, I’m sorry.
Don’t let me scare you away. I’m an admitted unapologetic ass myself. I’ve gotten so tired of being nice and seeing everything still go to shit that now I’m just tired of being nice. But that’s not fair and doesn’t help either.
I dunno what else to say other than fuck me and I hope you move past this and keep posting.
I totally get the frustration from watching people talk past each other, neither side taking anything positive away from the exchange, arguing for the sake of arguing or a misplaced desire to “own” the other one. It’s exhausting and there’s lots of times I want to do exactly what you did, so I truly do understand.
No hard feelings, and I really do appreciate the apology. We all get heated sometimes… it’s easy to do on the internet, especially when text makes it easy to misinterpret tone.
It’s nice to end things on a positive note and on the same page - as I said, I’m a consensus builder. For what it’s worth, you were absolutely right that taking your emotion out of your argument and just being sincere works, at least when someone is approaching things in good faith, which I believe we both were.
I’m glad we recovered this convo too. Keep posting and I hope to see you around. Keep up the fight✌️