Often people want to vent and they’re not looking for a fix but commiseration. It’s Not About the Nail is an extremely obvious case on purpose, but learning to first commiserate with someone and then ask if they need help before offering solutions is a good communication skill.
I’m not sure that makes them immature assholes. But this extreme example certainly does. 🤣
If one vents and needs commiseration over problems with glaringly obvious solutions, especially if the problems are self-caused/imposed, they are immature assholes who don’t want to or have the capacity for self-reflection, nor respect for others’ time.
This only my opinion about this video; it’s not gospel.
I did say the extreme example in the video was immature.
Calling someone immature may be accurate, but it isn’t going to help anyone. Again, the better approach is to commiserate, then ask if they want help, then provide that help.
Every one of us will have blind spots when it comes to self-reflection. It’s why therapy is so useful. But people seek out therapy, they generally don’t want it from their friends and family without prompting.
But people seek out therapy, they generally don’t want it from their friends and family without prompting.
Let me be clearer and more concise then.
Yes, people shouldn’t give unsolicited advice by default, but if one wants a precise style of listening without reaction, the onus is on one to say that up front, or pay a therapist, and, finally, venting will elicit comments and/or criticism regardless of the taboo of advice, depending on the nature of one’s culpability.
Often people want to vent and they’re not looking for a fix but commiseration. It’s Not About the Nail is an extremely obvious case on purpose, but learning to first commiserate with someone and then ask if they need help before offering solutions is a good communication skill.
I’m not sure that makes them immature assholes. But this extreme example certainly does. 🤣
If one vents and needs commiseration over problems with glaringly obvious solutions, especially if the problems are self-caused/imposed, they are immature assholes who don’t want to or have the capacity for self-reflection, nor respect for others’ time.
This only my opinion about this video; it’s not gospel.
I did say the extreme example in the video was immature.
Calling someone immature may be accurate, but it isn’t going to help anyone. Again, the better approach is to commiserate, then ask if they want help, then provide that help.
Every one of us will have blind spots when it comes to self-reflection. It’s why therapy is so useful. But people seek out therapy, they generally don’t want it from their friends and family without prompting.
Let me be clearer and more concise then.
Yes, people shouldn’t give unsolicited advice by default, but if one wants a precise style of listening without reaction, the onus is on one to say that up front, or pay a therapist, and, finally, venting will elicit comments and/or criticism regardless of the taboo of advice, depending on the nature of one’s culpability.