I read some people who vent on their posts or talk about problems they face in life and the replies they get is, no you are the problem, fuck you.
On Reddit, the only thing that is close to this is when women complain about their boyfriends, they got told to leave them, whatever is her complaint about.
Any explanation?
Disclaimer: I am not talking about my own experiences here, but rather what I read in other posts, my observations could be wrong.
Applicable to the early days of any platform. The early adopters are those that are comfortable being away from the masses on popular alternatives. They are aware their comments and posts will get less views and engagement and therefore can be less restrained. They also need to be relatively tech literate since it’s less user friendly than more established platforms.
The result is you get a certain type of person that is more willing to speak their mind rather than craft the most acceptable response.
Lemmy is still more reddit influenced than old emerging platforms, so we get more of a mix which creates differing expectations.
Not saying it’s good or bad, but once a platform develops and attracts the general public, there’s usually an outcry for the “old days”.
It’s really hard to answer it without having a example to go by. Can you give any please?
A few things come to mind:
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People don’t seem to understand or care when a post is just to vent and the individual isn’t looking for feedback. Some people have a really hard time not chiming in with their take.
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It’s a low effort reply that only requires a surface level understanding of the situation (and that might even be generous) so it’s very tempting to people who are itching to chime in on everything.
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Some people feel Very Smart when they make that comment because it means (in their view) that they are gifted at getting to the heart of the matter and seeing things as they truly are, without bias. There is also zero consequence to them being wrong about this.
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Sometimes people get defensive when they see their own behaviors reflected through someone’s vent post and it’s now personal.
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It’s sometimes used as a general saying, like “You are the problem with this country nowadays”, again the commenter feels real fucking smug about their pattern recognition skills.
I’m sure sometimes OP is the problem but I’m not sure it’s possible to have enough information to make that kind of judgement.
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I don’t see that at all. Perhaps you are just projecting your own issues onto Lemmy at large. I think you need to have a good hard look at yourself and your internal biases and then come back and apologise to all of us.
Well played.
I dunno, I used to see that all the time on reddit, generally in response to posts that all started with “I’m 18 and…”
People seem to have an allergy to personal responsibility and taking initiative. Perhaps it IS their fault? Or at least, they’re the people in the best position to fix things?
Seconding this. In most situations, the only thing you can change is yourself. If you want to improve things, you’ve got to do the work. Sometimes people think responsibility is the same thing as fault or blame, but, again, most of the time the person able to fix a bad situation won’t be the one who caused it.
Because I’m the problem?
No I’m the problem!
Like mentioned already: Without any sample, it’s hard to tell anything. Maybe those people were the problem or maybe the question wasn’t clear? Maybe the commenter was the problem or maybe they did not understand shit about the OP question?
What I can say is that I seldom see anything looking like what you describe in my timeline, but I also carefully curate it to avoid most noise.
Because it’s often the correct response.
Yea I’m remembering a post, which i sincerely hope was trolling, where someone was unemployed and played video games for most of the hours of the day and thought it was unreasonable that their partner wanted more interaction with them outside of gaming.
If your referencing r/relationshipadvice you can just ignore anything you read on there because it certainly isn’t advice.
It’s toxic as fuck and the people commenting are probably incel chain-wanking 4chan fanatics who’ve never had a relationship
Well I guess it is advice. It’s just really really bad advice.
But I feel like the real value comes from having to write your problem down and actually thinking about a lot of different facets to make a stranger understand what you are going through.
I haven’t seen it, maybe you’re the problem?
Same as most of the other commentors, this isn’t something I’ve noticed. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, so it would be helpful to hear some examples. I feel like most of the time people here are pretty supportive / helpful, but maybe I’ve got a skewed perspective?
People think it always has to be someone’s fault. It’s easier to attribute bad outcomes to specific actions by an individual, rather than accept things often happen through mechanism out of your control.
The lemmyverse isn’t huge, but broad.
Unless you give some examples, people are probably going to respond based on what they saw somewhere else than where you were thinking of.
My best attempt at an answer is that lemmy has fewer long-term well behaving residents, so people coming from other platforms because they kept being banned for bad behavior or just kept not getting along, stick out more.
I think the niche nature of Lemmy attracts a large amount of ivory tower hipster types.
