Because we are lacking actualization. I will use I statements but there is LOTS of consulting with other men and reflection in this.
I enjoy making my wife and kids happy. I get some satisfaction from compersion. A lot in fact. But that is not primarily for me. I am not filling my own cup as it we’re.
But what I really want is to win women. I want the admiration and loyalty of women. I essentially want a harem. That is a huge ask and not realistic but deep down inside that is what I repress all day every day. I am hardwired to pursue women. I have found this to be true of basically all men in private conversation, whether they verbalize it in those terms or not. It is not politically correct and so crazy to say out loud that the very idea of my true sexuality is essentially a thought crime.
I don’t want monogamy.
I will never be really satisfied by sports or fishing or whittling wood or any of the things that we take on when we retire from life by participating in monogamy.
The grass is always greener it’s true and I think a lot of men have experienced loneliness and are happy to have someone. I have always had an SO and a waiting list. My wife is so incredibly good to me that I just can’t leave to fulfill myself. It’s fucked up honestly and I carry a lot of resentment.
This is just the part you asked about and there are complexities throughout but that’s the gist.
I have found this to be true of basically all men in private conversation, whether they verbalize it in those terms or not.
JFC you need to surround yourself with better people. This is not how all men are. It sounds like you’re stuck in some Andrew Tate-esque social bubble.
Interesting. Would you care to address any of the sentiment I have expressed within the framework of the OP?
Or do you just want to attack me?
Care to share anything about yourself, your lived experience? I’m not even sure you qualify to comment on my thoughts at all.
Do you have or have you ever been in an LTR? How long? Is it successful? Kids? What are your regrets? What do you struggle with? Are you, ahem, a man?
Consider the OP. I certainly didn’t just pop up with this. The premise is literally that a huge majority of married men express regret. Then I share my experience. Here you come “pshaw that’s not even real!! You are sick and need help.”
Hmmm. I wonder who is honestly working through their issues and who is simply denying. I’m willing to bet it isn’t me. Or perhaps we are just different.
You are literally talking about seeing women as prizes to be “won”, and wanting collect as many as you can in a harem. That sounds more like you see women as objects. That is not a healthy attitude, hence why I told you to get therapy.
And I mention Andrew Tate because this is the exact kind of stuff he preaches, and unfortunately a lot of men are gollowing his grift. If you’re surrounded by enough men that you think this attitude towards women is normal for men, you need to get out of that social bubble for the mental health of both you and your family. There’s the old adage of “you are the company you keep”.
But if you’re going to get defensive about it, that’s on you. If you want to ruin the lives of you and your family by not getting help then that’s your problem. I just feel bad for your wife and kids for all the trouble you’re going to drag them through
You are expressing something that is a problem for you. You feel resentment towards your wife because you can’t hook up with your waiting list? You need therapy, that is a very unhealthy way to live. That ain’t normal.
Because we are lacking actualization. I will use I statements but there is LOTS of consulting with other men and reflection in this.
I enjoy making my wife and kids happy. I get some satisfaction from compersion. A lot in fact. But that is not primarily for me. I am not filling my own cup as it we’re.
But what I really want is to win women. I want the admiration and loyalty of women. I essentially want a harem. That is a huge ask and not realistic but deep down inside that is what I repress all day every day. I am hardwired to pursue women. I have found this to be true of basically all men in private conversation, whether they verbalize it in those terms or not. It is not politically correct and so crazy to say out loud that the very idea of my true sexuality is essentially a thought crime.
I don’t want monogamy.
I will never be really satisfied by sports or fishing or whittling wood or any of the things that we take on when we retire from life by participating in monogamy.
The grass is always greener it’s true and I think a lot of men have experienced loneliness and are happy to have someone. I have always had an SO and a waiting list. My wife is so incredibly good to me that I just can’t leave to fulfill myself. It’s fucked up honestly and I carry a lot of resentment.
This is just the part you asked about and there are complexities throughout but that’s the gist.
Go to therapy, this shit isn’t healthy.
JFC you need to surround yourself with better people. This is not how all men are. It sounds like you’re stuck in some Andrew Tate-esque social bubble.
Interesting. Would you care to address any of the sentiment I have expressed within the framework of the OP?
Or do you just want to attack me?
Care to share anything about yourself, your lived experience? I’m not even sure you qualify to comment on my thoughts at all.
Do you have or have you ever been in an LTR? How long? Is it successful? Kids? What are your regrets? What do you struggle with? Are you, ahem, a man?
Consider the OP. I certainly didn’t just pop up with this. The premise is literally that a huge majority of married men express regret. Then I share my experience. Here you come “pshaw that’s not even real!! You are sick and need help.”
Hmmm. I wonder who is honestly working through their issues and who is simply denying. I’m willing to bet it isn’t me. Or perhaps we are just different.
You are literally talking about seeing women as prizes to be “won”, and wanting collect as many as you can in a harem. That sounds more like you see women as objects. That is not a healthy attitude, hence why I told you to get therapy.
And I mention Andrew Tate because this is the exact kind of stuff he preaches, and unfortunately a lot of men are gollowing his grift. If you’re surrounded by enough men that you think this attitude towards women is normal for men, you need to get out of that social bubble for the mental health of both you and your family. There’s the old adage of “you are the company you keep”.
But if you’re going to get defensive about it, that’s on you. If you want to ruin the lives of you and your family by not getting help then that’s your problem. I just feel bad for your wife and kids for all the trouble you’re going to drag them through
You are expressing something that is a problem for you. You feel resentment towards your wife because you can’t hook up with your waiting list? You need therapy, that is a very unhealthy way to live. That ain’t normal.
You sure are commenting a lot for someone that doesnt need therapy
Been there and did the work.
Makes it a bit clearer to see things. Expressing resentment towards a person for a reason other than their actions is not normal , fair or healthy.