I was on a date with this seemingly perfect girl. While I was telling her about my recent trip to Vietnam, she asked how I could possibly have been there, since Vietnam was “a war from long ago and not a country.”
Being smart or dumb is not an all connected to having a good personality.
Also your story about Vietnam does not mean she is dumb. It means she is ill informed.
That depends. Being kind, compassionate, and open to learning are more important than anything else. “Dumb” is something that can be solved because it’s merely a lack of knowledge, which can be through no fault of their own. But if someone refuses to learn or grow, that’s not just being “dumb,” it’s being stubborn and toxic, which are signs that someone is naturally evil.
That’s certainly a naive thing to say, but intelligence presents itself in different ways. She may not know about geography or history, but maybe there are other topics she’s more informed about?
I’d also say how young she is should be considered. Someone in their early 20’s not aware Vietnam exists? Embarsssing for sure but certainly more understandable than someone in their 40’s. In my personal opinion, someone being open to learning and growth is way more important than where they’re starting.
TLDR; definitely a cause for concern but I wouldn’t say it’s a deal breaker in and of itself. Get to know her better before deciding if you can be with her.
Agreed.
I would also be curious if she has any areas of interest where she is actually very quick and knowledgeable. If not, that might be cause for concern, but for all we know she just hates the humanities and is actually a wizard at higher mathematics. Especially since she’s young, there’s no real way to gauge whether it’s a lack of general intelligence or just a symptom of complete and total disinterest in a particular subject.
Also let’s not forget that pretty people can often get away with more than average looking people can, so they don’t have quite the same degree of pressure to perform in areas where they’re uninterested. If a quick, dazzling smile can unlock the ability to copy someone else’s homework or get the teacher to grant extra time on an assignment, well, school might be a little easier.
naive
Nonsense. Naive is thinking the French and Indian War must have been between France and India. The woman in the OP had enough information to come to the realization that Vietnam must be a place, but instead asked a question that suggests she was pondering the possibility of OP being a time traveler. That is stupidity.
She’s highly educated in TikTok and Instagram and possibly even has a degree in Snapchat
Youth bad
Assumption, assumption, with one last dash of assumption
Does she have any curiosity? I have a friend who grew up on a farm and had parents who didn’t value education. When i met her she didn’t seem to know a lot of things most adults do. She’s 40 now with 2 degrees (she started university when she was 30). some ignorant people seem dumb, but sometimes it’s just a reflection of their opportunities. if she has no curiosity, though, she might be dumb.
I wouldn’t. I need my partner to have a minimun conversational skill. In a couple, there’s more beyond sex, there is talk, there is communication. I’d rather a worse looking person that’s smart than a 10 with whom I can’t even talk about anything interesting.
Looks fade, intelligence & character lasts.
And you spend more time talking to them than having sex with them. (probably)
Would have said the same
There’s dumb and unwilling to learn, and there’s dumb and willing to learn. BIGGGG diff. If you then said no, its a country, and they said “oh I did not know that how silly, I never thought about it!” Thats fine. If they then go off like the lady who named her child Malaysia and then ranted that her child is not a country because there is no country named Malaysia, run.
I think it would depend on whether they’re just stupid or willfully ignorant. Personality counts for a lot imo.
Uneducated would be the third option
Depends on how they’re dumb. Your example is just amusing and pretty innocent - that doesn’t bother me at all. What would bug me is if it’s something that’s clearly screwing up their life. Like if they can’t hold down a job or get through basic everyday tasks without constantly fucking it up.
For me, intelligence isn’t about what you know - it’s about how you think. Can she grasp that Vietnam is an actual country once you explain it to her? If yes, then she’s not dumb - she’s just ignorant or uneducated. I can live with that. Especially with a 10/10 personality.
Yeah, she got it, and she was actually curious about it. She also admitted on her own that she’s not the smartest person, she found school boring, and her parents basically told her to ignore it since they’d take care of everything. They have money, so she doesn’t need to work if she doesn’t want to. She mostly just hung out with her friends and did leisurely stuff.
She sounds smart but ignorant. See it as a challenge, maybe?
Yeah, she got it, and she was actually curious about it. She also admitted on her own that she’s not the smartest person, she found school boring,
Self awareness goes a long way in the right direction.
and her parents basically told her to ignore it since they’d take care of everything. They have money, so she doesn’t need to work if she doesn’t want to
That’s a red flag. More on the parents than on her. What kind of smooth-brain tells their kids not to learn or work? How will she function in society once they’re gone?
I’d say instilling a desire to learn and work is something you should attempt, but based on what you say, that’s literally the only thing to worry about. Besides her parents apathy I mean.
A lot of people view women’s role in society as just breeders, so don’t value a woman’s education in the slightest. How you could think that about your own daughter is beyond me, but that’s the long and short of it. Sexist parents with lots of money do this kind of shit.
10/10 looks and personality and rich parents?
I’ll take her if you don’t.
If she’s willing to learn and you don’t mind teaching, I’d say there isn’t a problem there. Ignorance isn’t the same thing as stupidity.
My problem is when people actively don’t want to learn.
What is “intelligence”? For your example I would have more problems with the potential nationalism not knowing Vietnam exists which would be a personality problem.
Good personality compensates easily for a lack of intelligence.
If looks is 10, personality is 10 and smarts is 1 it’s still a 7 average score which is pretty good.
Just have to look out for dangerous combinations with dumb. A stubborn risk taker for example.
Date ? Sure.
Marry ? Prolly not.
Are you sure she wasn’t joking?
Like that would be an excellent deadpan response if the other person knew they were playing stupid.
Yeah, I’m sure. She was dead serious, and it became clearer and clearer as the date went on.
OP’s dating a 10/10 irony ninja and doesn’t realize it.
Did that. It was hell. She wasn’t pretty, she just looked that way.
There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity. The first can cured, while the second tends to be permanent.
