Every day I try to do one thing to make the next day a little better

Surrender.

Not resignation. Surrender.

(Several years of reading philosophy, meditation, Zen Buddhism, resolving mental health issues, trauma work, therapy, psychedelic therapy, going through my personal hell, dropping self-hatered etc. but you can skip the hard stuff and just accept that all you ever amount to is the dash between your birthday and time of death. It’s very liberating once you stop believing the idea that you, or anything really, is “supposed” to be special. Or indeed that there even is a “you” - that’s just another way your mind is keeping busy. Vast majority of people take the long way around though.)

I’ve just kind of grown comfortable with the idea that there is no real point. I’m fine just floating through my time here seeing neat shit and hearing cool stories, and doing what I can to make things a little better for the people around me. Sort of a cozy or optimistic nihilism, though I’m probably misusing that word.

Joss Whedon is problematic in a lot of ways, but nevertheless this scene from Angel has always stuck with me: If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.

Optimistic Nihilism

Sounds like you need more than hobbies, jobs, family, technology, entertainment, science and religion.

What would make you feel more fulfilled?

Do you need a cause? Try volunteering at a food bank, or animal shelter.

Do you need a goal? Plan and train for a multi day hike.

Do you just want to escape the treadmill of life under late stage capitalism? Know that you’re not alone. Do what you can to get yourself out, (or at least somewhat protected) and then try to find fulfilment

The bad news is there is no great meaning or purpose to any of this. The good news is that there is no great meaning or purpose to any of this, so you get to decide your own purpose and define your own meaning.

Realize and accept that time is going to move forward whether I like it or not, as well as not having that fruitful of a life. Then just hope I get a better life once this one is over.

Feeling good feels good, so I decided to make it the foundation of My ethics. I’m trying to make a world where we can all feel really good and don’t have to feel bad.

Excapism: Watching TV shows, movies, anime,

Writing… my life story… sometimes fiction… sometimes poetry…

Watching youtube videos about random stuff, sometimes gameplay, sometimes educational, sometimes irl stuff (the less depressing stuff fun stuff)

Just to let you know, I have double the normal existential crisis since

1. I wasn’t even supposed to be born. I was during the One Child Policy of China but I was the second child… its a rare chance that I’m even alive

2. As an immigrant, I have constant identity crisis. Not American enough to be American, not Chinese enough to be Chinese. I want to embrace my language but I keep getting traumatized by it. I keep thinking about the alternate timeline where I had to live in China behind the stupid firewall bullshit.

3. I also nearly got kidnapped since I ran away from home when I was 6 years old due to a fight with my brother so I got scared and ran. I keep reliving that memory and just think what a horrible life that’d be to be trafficked somewhere.

I don’t think it really goes away, you just have to deal with it.

Watching movies that makes me cry is very powerful, endorphins feels SOO GOOD. Its hard to explain. Endorphins is the best natural drug there ever is.

While I don’t live it, I think human time should be spent farming/hunting/building/expression through arts, only what’s needed.

…maybe throw some psychedelics in there…

A lot of us were taught escapism.

Beer works pretty well. It takes back in interest, sadly. Ain’t no existential crisis like a hungover one.

Contemplate the thought for a bit, then continue doing whatever it was i was doing. The world goes on

Meaning and just walking a path.

Lotsa shitty things in the world when I arrived. And anyone or anything living could be me, since I don’t think anyone even chose to be human, nor when and where they were born. So it’s in my interest to fix shit up and not make it worse – I could be the next kid born into this world.

The comment of @bsit@sopuli.xyz is also important to me. as are some things @argumentativemonotheist@lemmy.world mentioned/touched on.

Well, kind of. Just sitting there, waiting and thinking about how you’ll eventually die seems quite boring. Might as well kill some time with fun things in the meanwhile.

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.”

Kurt Vonnegut.

Seriously, yeah, its all for nothing as far as the universe is concerned. So why not have a laugh while we’re here? Embrace the absurdity of it and live beautifully just because you can.

I personally find meaning in doing what I can to make the world in general better. I view being a “steward of the earth”, as it were, as being enough of a meaning to my life. Not for religious reasons, but because any bit of help I can do makes a difference to people and causes I care about.

In the era we are in now, with me being in the US, I am describing this feeling as being like a nurse in hospice. Several of my family have been either hospice nurses or patients, and it informs a lot of my view. Even if the little things I do don’t “cure” or “fix” anything, it makes life more comfortable for someone who needs it. I do more when I can, but this helps me not feel useless during times I can’t do more.

everything we do is really just an excuse to keep our minds busy for our inevitable end.

Everything ends eventually. The point is to find joy in the moments you have, it’s only really a distraction from boredom. You either do something or you don’t, but no matter what we’re all heading towards our end. Dwelling on it not only serves very little purpose, but it can actively take time away that you could have otherwise been enjoying.