No, right now I’m using the Star Trek TOS bosun’s whistle.

Picard: You mean to tell me you could’ve averted that supernova at any time?

Q: No! Not at any time, only when it was funny!

What’s this subliminal antivax meme shit going on in the skeleton image?

Overnight, no. If I don’t eat it for breakfast the next morning, then I’ll toss it in the fridge at that point.

Make him Pike’s barber and answer a lot of questions about how he maintains that chiseled frosty peak at the same time.

Somehow those shoes look like Walton Goggins. I think it’s the teeth.

Perfectly normal button prompt if you’re playing the right games.

Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Candlestick

I mostly dislike professional porn except on the odd occasion. In amateur porn, my biggest gripe is people who clearly did not check the angle or distance of the camera before recording, so 90% of the video is the dude’s thigh moving back and forth.

Even the under-the-balls angle is better. At least I like the balls sometimes.

Double twist: 89% of the Riker offspring are taken out of the action at a pivotal moment when they get Naked Time’d and start banging each other.

Monster of the week episodes don’t have to be filler. An episode that tells an interesting side story without advancing an overall plot can still have value and enrich the characters and setting.

Or they could just give me an anthology series like they teased with Short Treks.

Lots of small tech, but if we want it to stay useful to them longer than one battery charge, I’d say a crank-powered flashlight or lantern.

I suppose anyone doing a lot of math, like a moneychanger, would also lose their shit over a solar powered calculator.

A mouthful of titty.

A near-complete lack of rhythm and profound tone deafness. I can’t keep a beat to save my life, and my singing sounds like the wails of the damned. But like damned chimps or something.

Anyway, all music is sorcery as far as I’m concerned.

Stupid as this is, I’m not opposed to more Wonka-level weird flavors in jellybeans.

The grass and black pepper flavors in the Harry Potter ones kinda slapped.

Huh, I could’ve sworn Cunt Brigade was actually the original name for the Vedek Assembly.

By the Prophets, man! There’s just some things you don’t talk about in public!

My cousin Ensign Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a shuttle to Terra Luna when all of a sudden the impulse engines went. The shuttle started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it’s all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other ensigns take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the ensigns are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of a sudden, snap! The impulse engines kick back in. The shuttle rights itself and it lands safely, and everyone puts their pieces or whatever, you know, away and deboards. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.

He’s also a fantastic swimmer.

And if you play your cards right

Then he just might come round for “dinner”.