• Hadriscus@jlai.lu
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    1 day ago

    Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn’t have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it’s not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.

  • Hadriscus@jlai.lu
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    2 days ago

    Fucks signs, fuck everything that’s not clear communication made of words that carry your intended meaning

    • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz
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      1 day ago

      Could it be that “signs” are meant to hedge one’s bets? It doesn’t expose you as much if the other party isn’t interested.

      • socsa@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        Right, just like it’s inappropriate for a guy to go up to a random woman, or even a familiar woman in a friendly setting and just say “hey you wanna fuck?” it’s also inappropriate in the other direction. That’s why you use an escalating series of verbal and non verbal cues to gauge interest first before you commit fully.

      • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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        1 day ago

        Could be, but that’s immature and unattractive. You’re better off not throwing in with someone who’s unwilling to be vulnerable

  • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 days ago

    If it’s meant to be, they’ll speak up and say, “I’m interested in a date, what are you doing this friday?” or something along those lines, just like I would if I was interested in someone as a potential partner.

    Signs/signals/asstrology charts/ouija boards that mysteriously spell out words like kiss, sex, or date… these things are for middle school. I’ve got better things to do.

    • im_me_but_better@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      21 hours ago

      All the possible signals. Really. I’ll give you two of my own experience (or inexperience)

      • Teenagers in a school trip. She tells me, do you want to come with me, I forgot my key in the room. “Sure” I say. I proceed to walk with her and wait for her to go to her room while I held the elevator.

      • Me in a quite alternative bar. She “why don’t you stay longer, I can take you home after”. Me “I have early class tomorrow”.

      Both were drop dead gorgeous (the first one was fairly wealthy)

      Those are just two examples. My life is full of them. Apparently I’m more attractive than smart.

      Of course, there have been some super direct where I clued in but it was impossible not to.

  • Pistcow@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Goth girl i worked with at Tacobell in college, I guess, was flirting with me often? She gave me this burned CD, and her music was weird, so I just threw it in my binder. Years later, I finally listened to it, and it was all songs about having sex.

    I think she might have been interested in me?

  • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    Can I teleport an apostrophe into that possessive pronoun to transform it into the appropriate contraction?

  • Damage@feddit.it
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    2 days ago

    Was one of the signs her saying something like “Hey, I’m attracted to you, would you like to explore a potential relationship?” ?

    Otherwise f off with “signs”

  • Cyrus Draegur@lemmy.zip
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    2 days ago

    No. Once bitten twice shy, and I got bitten over and over again. Falling in love with every person who was nice to me in high school was a massive mistake and caused nothing but hardship. The last two decades have been relatively peaceful because I don’t buy it anymore. Fuck reading between the lines, fuck hints, fuck signals and vibes. I’m never acting unless I receive DIRECT CLEARLY EXPRESSED FREELY GIVEN ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT and not a moment sooner.

    I will never trust my ““intuition”” ever again.

    • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Last year I got hit on by a young woman in my neighbourhood. She started by asking me for some rice because she didn’t have any left (that might have been an excuse). When I came back 5mn later with a bag, she simply asked me if I wanted to play with her. I told her I was married and went home, but I liked her approach. No room for ambiguity. She must have been 20 something, so it’s not a matter of age at least. Maybe maturity.

    • sqgl@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      Intuition does not help when it is a woman giving signs in order to reassure herself that she is attractive but with zero intention of accepting a request for a date.

      • Cyrus Draegur@lemmy.zip
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        1 day ago

        Actually, you know, I could afford to keep that in mind more often. I’ve suffered with poor self esteem in the past myself, and so I know just about everyone can use reassurance sometimes. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to validate someone else’s insecurity without creeping them out and also without becoming an enabling crutch that they lean on more than is healthy or appropriate.

        Empathy can be toxic if I’m misreading, too… It’s possible to honestly believe I’m attempting to reassure someone and end up saying something that only exacerbates their insecurities x_x I don’t even know how it turns out like that, probably because I’m just not very good or practiced at socializing. But usually I’ve tended to err on the side of caution and keep my mouth shut.

        I dunno. I’ll have to think on it more as to whether or not I want to try proactively engaging on that again now…

  • XM34@feddit.org
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    2 days ago

    Meh, had this too often. The moment I make a move they usually withdraw. Nowadays I let people know that if they’re interested, hints won’t cut it. Either ask me out or stop that shit. I’ve had enough rejections to the point where I’d rather stay single than go through this hell again. ✌️

    • insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe
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      2 days ago

      Same. Not much around here in my travel range (not aware of anything social applicable to me), so the people who talk to me are definitely being cordial. Which is less awkward for me anyhow.

      I don’t leave the house (or talk to people) enough for the idea to seem anything other than silly.

      • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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        2 days ago

        So funny thing you mention that. You’re describing me.

        For a very long time, I was in denial about being touched with the 'tism. Some behaviors of mine that I noticed I couldn’t ignored and asked some friends about them. Did some tests without thinking through my constant camouflage and yeah, definitely have ASD. I mentioned it to friends and family and they all said something similar to “you finally figured it out huh?” So hopefully I can start to gain more energy for going out as long as I don’t feel the need to camouflage. One thing at a time though.

        The other thing that doesn’t help is that I identify demiguy more than as a man. So I know my behavior and appearance doesn’t quite fit the “masculinity” picture - regardless if it’s toxic or not. Im definitely male, I’m definitely attracted to women, but like I like having soft hands. I’m a softer personality, I’d rather listen to gossip than think/pay attention/care about sports.

        Having discovered that though, maybe it too will help my confidence and lead to better interactions.

        I’m challenging myself to be this real me, and see if it leads to more signals.

        Still doesn’t help trying to find where people are.