I know opinions on this vary a lot depending on the country and culture, so I’m curious what others think. Personally, I have a 22-year-old son. I bought him a house and a car, I pay for his university tuition (his grades are high enough for a state-subsidized spot, but we feel that should go to someone more in need), and I basically support him fully. We want him to focus on his studies and enjoy this stage of his life. He will finish his dentistry degree in 2028, and then we plan to finance the opening of his private practice. We’ll stop providing financial support once he’s earning enough to live comfortably on his own. I see many parents online (especially in North America) talking about kids moving out at 18, paying rent to live at home, and covering their own bills, and it honestly shocks me. That feels unfathomable to me. I believe that as parents, we have a duty to give our children a good life since we brought them into this world.
I feel happy for your child that they were able to begin adult life so incredibly supported. I wish I could do the same for my kids, and I wish the same had been done for me.
I think one big problem with this is some people end up very entitled. They think it’s easy to “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” when in reality it’s not even possible for most unsupported folks. As long as your kid knows to be humble, that they only got to where they are by the welfare of inheritance, I think what you’re doing is great. They shouldn’t feel bad or guilty about your help, they just shouldn’t judge any choices made by anyone who didn’t have the luxury of all that wonderful support.
I worked three jobs in college, and big surprise I burned out and dropped out with big mental health issues. I earned a full ride, but my jobs didn’t fully cover my food and rent, so I ended up with loans just to get my AA. No bachelor’s degree, and definitely no medical degree. I’m not complaining, just pointing out it’s not that I didn’t work as hard as your kid, or that I wasn’t as smart. I just didn’t have the freedom of choice your child was afforded. I congratulate you for offering that to them.