Don’t worry, they’re only 5-9 mm big and are generally chill
That’s about 5-9 mm too much.
Mangos for scale
When you encounter things like this, God has abandoned you.
Fire hasn’t, though. Fire has no fickle loyalties. All can burn.
Praise Prometheus!
More pixels
And here’s more pixels of the joke, if that’s your thing
Hundrends of documented parasites who can literally eat us from the inside, but no …spiders are the fucking problem.
I think spiders are cool. I also have a completely irrational fear of them. I don’t understand it, I don’t have any clue where it came from, but spiders cause me to feel fear in a way unlike anything else in this world. I took it completely in stride when a doctor told me I “might not be ok” while looking at my xrays after a car accident in if I see a spider crawling across the bathroom floor while I’m pooping I’ll break out in cold sweats. I like to think that I’m a pretty rational person so this drives me crazy.
I will always be at at your side in this journey of fear of spiders.
At least one person will come away from reading this post with a new sexual fetish.
it’s me hello i want to pretend to be a stick
Down. Bad.
wraps around stick
No fetish, but I wanna pat it.
Do you think it likes chin scratches? Does it have a chin? Can I stack them for convenience?
A 2 second Google search of “so spiders have chins?” has revealed that sadly they do not
Unfortunately, we’re the only ones with true chins, but I still scratch my cat’s undermouth area and call it a chin.
By my read, this spider is a bro.
Australia
Should’ve guessed
I really hope these things live in a different hemisphere than I do
Don’t worry, it lives in Australia (because of course it would)
Oh is that why some trees hurt so much?
Or just another reason why a tree might hurt so much?
Are they even trees or just more spiders?
It’s spiders all the way down
Poisonous trees. And trees that want to eat you.
Funnily enough, the most “fuck you” tree is actually from America:
Standing beneath the tree during rain will cause blistering of the skin from mere contact with this liquid: even a small drop of rain with the sap in it will cause the skin to blister. Burning the tree may cause ocular injuries if the smoke reaches the eyes.
Although the fruit is potentially fatal if eaten, no such occurrences have been reported in the modern literature. Ingestion can produce severe gastroenteritis with bleeding, shock, and bacterial superinfection, as well as the potential for airway compromise due to edema.
Reach Around Spider was rejected as a possible name.
Unacceptable.
This spider has found one trick that makes humans very angry
Clickbait spider! Enragement tracking functions, activate!
Oh cool, like a slap-braclet.
Imagine you’re climbing a tree and you get to the top and grab this mfer
Hopefully at that point it continues its charade as a stick! :-P
This shit is the consequence of sin yo.
Amazing powers of camouflage and body manipulation are the consequences of sin? I best get sinning like a mother fucker then!
God never picks up, call Samus Aran!
