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The boulder gets bigger every day.
We have a moron rapist criminal running the country raising our cost of living. My ex wife left me six years ago and it still hurts today. I can’t believe I’ve not gotten over her. On the positive I get to live my life loving my cat. So grateful for him. Even if he bites me when he thinks I’m starving him to death but I just fed him a bit ago. lol
Between the drama in my life, and the phenomenal psychedelic trips I’ve been having, and finally pursuing HRT, and inevitable societal collapse, I’ve been a metronome rapidly ticking between being on the verge of absolute meltdown and being incredibly driven to self improve.
Overall, the year is excellent. Falls are starting to hurt less, and I’m mending relationships. I still feel like a complete fuckup in the back of my mind, but I feel closer than ever to correcting the feeling.
Try a nice hike out 🙏
Always remember to be kind to yourself. Wishing you the best! ❤️
I live in America, so there’s that. I’m over 40 and now health is definitely a priority.
However, I passed my CompTIA A+ certification and had a few interviews but decided the tech industry is a volatile shit hole even if the pay can eventually be great. I was substitute teaching in the in between and have LOVED it, so I decided to go back to school and I’m starting graduate classes in a week for my Master’s in (elementary) Education!
It’s odd.
It’s both fucking abysmal, but also relievingly hopeful.
I finally dragged myself out of the depressive hole i had been in for a ~year an a half but am currently existentially sad and frustrated. lol
…But it will pass. And i can tell that my life has shifted.So far it’s been pretty good personally.
I work in stunts, and started training with a new stunt team that does some pretty cool projects. I’m not a member yet, but I keep getting invited to trainings and communicating with people in the team, so it’s been going pretty good. They have a few films announced for the upcoming year, so, hopefully I get to work on a few of them!
2024 was all physical and emotional pain for me. Guess who found out they’re Celiac and lost their broken af unrecoverable soul mate? Meeee! Woo…
So after getting misdiagnosed a bunch and having a completely fucked esophagus I’ve been exclusively focused on healing. The progress on that feels fucking fantastic after 2 years of slowly worsening chronic pain and unresponsive to habit changes, drugs, and diet changes to combat GERD. I just had to find out (on my own, no thanks to my doctors) my immune system was attacking my intestines and stomach/esophagus lining because I ate gluten, duh! Also my esophagus wouldn’t heal until I quit smoking. Oh and I found out I have hemochromatosis from the blood work too, so that’s nice.
I’ve been scared straight and I’m at an ideal body weight as a consequence too. Fasting helped healing immensely by just not using my digestive system for awhile. All around I’ll be fit as a fiddle year end, and in better shape than I’ve ever been since my teenage years. Purely out of fear of dying in agony! Wow!
After this horrible arc, I can work on my social life left in shambles by covid. I went nuts and recovered barely, my lover went nuts slowly and didn’t recover eventually, I lost friends some slowly some rapidly to right wing grifters, and just more mental health crash outs. Bad times. Went from 7 friends, 4 of which I hung out with weekly, to 2.5 I barely see. The busy guys I can maybe see once a month are what’s left and one of them was part of a friend group that’s dead and gone, and isn’t comfortable hanging out 1 on 1. Anxiety thing, but we’re not close as a consequence and that’s a doomed relationship.
My best friend is now my roommate and I consider him family now. He’ll probably also be married soon, but we’re staying together with a +1. Probably for life, so that’s nice. Not nice is why he’s with me but that’s a long story. The short of it is he’s autistic enough to be on disability, and his mom is a narcissist abuser that became too much. You’ll see the two cats he came with posted sometimes. All three of them are rescues :p I needed the company anyways.
So that’s my rest of 2025 goals: Social life. Idk about romance just yet. I’m tired, boss.
That’s it. Hopefully not too long winded. Mobile fat thumb edits.
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope things get much better for you 🙏
Thanks for well wishes!
I’m only alive because of her. I was and will continue to try in her honor no matter what. She’s not dead and there’s no bad blood, she’s just the most extreme version of someone who sets themselves on fire to save other wretches like me. She completely ruined herself 8 months ago to help someone.
I understand, I tend to be that way too. I hope the future holds positive surprises for you and perhaps another friend who understands you will come into your life. 🙏
Outside of my country being on fire and being a bit worried the small company I work for will survive, my personal life has been pretty good.
I’ve been casually seeing a new woman and it’s been nice to break out of my usual comfort zone of “you are now half of my life” relationships. And it’s given me motivation to get consistent with lifting weights because I want to look good for her (and tbh love when she grabs/holds my arm), which has really helped me control my blood sugar. I might even be able to dial back my medications depending on how my next doctor’s visit goes.
So far, meh. Not good or bad for me and mine, but I’m watching my country devolve in double time with damned little I can do about it except prepare for the worst and hope for the best. It’s a bit nerve racking to be honest.
2024 best year ever. Then everything gets undone in 2025
Personally it’s about the same, which is good.
But I wake up every morning worried about all the stupid nazi shit that’s going on in the currrent government.
Got sick for a full week the moment I got back from my New Year’s celebration visit to family, then got sick again a week after I got better from the first time. Then my apartment flooded due to a water heater busting in the apartment above me. Still cleaning up from that. Then I had to quit my job due to a toxic work environment and start a new one with a pay cut, and then the day I go to quit, my grandfather dies (wasn’t close to him but the aftermath was rough.)
And now another family member is on death’s door, so I’ll probably have to go to a second funeral this year.
Needless to say, 2025 hasn’t been my year😮💨
I wish I was dead but thanks for asking. I have a busted tooth I can’t afford to fix, we had to get a replacement vehicle and it costs too much, which gave the insurance company and excuse to double the insurance rate even though it’s a newer, better car. We can’t afford that either. I’m going to have to file for bankruptcy just to get by.
Good and meh. Personal life is great. I’m able to engage in all the hobbies I want to and am particularly chuffed about learning to play piano. Got a new motorcycle last month that I actually enjoy riding.
Marriage is pretty good. Got a bunch of child support earlier this year, which helped pay off most of my son’s medical debt.
Work is…meh. I love my job but I’m over it when it comes to working in general.
Health-wise… it’s okay considering how bad it can get. I don’t sleep well due to my heart pounding half or the whole night (been an ongoing thing for over a decade and no one can tell me why) so I take a blood pressure supplement (the only thing that helps). Always tired. I’ve become more of an introvert, which is completely fine because I really love my alone time. Have a good group of friends that I stay in touch with and occasionally socialize with.
Overall, I have no complaints. Unsure about the government situation but I can’t get stuck in worrying about that because that dumpster fire will just keep burning. Hoping for enough resistance to keep things from exploding…
Great except I wrecked my car.
Damn sorry to hear that. What happened?
Not much point in telling it really - totally my fault, somehow I made a turn across in front of somebody, didn’t even see them coming. Nobody hurt and the other car just had a busted front corner, but my car was undrivable and the insurance company totalled it. It was a 2014 Nissan Leaf. I loved driving that thing - instantly felt completely at home in it, it felt like a little spaceship.
Im glad you’re safe. Hang in there man. At least you’re brave enough to try driving. Im too anxious to drive.
In my late 20s I had anxiety so bad I constantly walked around feeling like I was about to have a heart attack. Inspired by the movie Fame, I signed up for a community college acting class in the evenings. I forced myself to jump in with both feet on the first night. Getting through that was all it took - it turned out I was actually good at it and it was a blast. I became a total theatre guy - had big parts in a couple plays, designed and built sets, did props, ran lights, became stage manager… And almost immediately I had a thriving social life - going out in groups for food, going to parties, throwing my own… theatre became my life, my job was just something I did during the day. In all this my anxiety COMPLETELY faded away.
Besides all the fun there were other benefits. Learning to get into character transformed job interviews for me - I would just reframe the situation so it wasn’t a job interview - I already worked there, I had just been away for a while and it was my first day back. It was going to be great to see the people again! It was a great group and our manager was awesome, I couldn’t wait! So I would get into that character and walk in genuinely feeling glad to be there instead of being nervous. That’s 90% cultural fit right from the start. My success rate skyrocketed (I was a contractor doing software jobs, so I had to get new jobs quite often).
Theatre led directly to eventually meeting my wife, and gave me the confidence to become a dad. I wouldn’t be the person I am if I hadn’t taken that first step. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone with anxiety!
All of this decade has been the worst time of my life, but this year has been very slightly better than last at least. Really need people to start actually hiring again and for the economy to stop being the worst, but no hope there. I’m just begging for the reaper at this point.
