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fossilesque@mander.xyzM to Science Memes@mander.xyzEnglish · 1 day ago

bork bork bork

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bork bork bork

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fossilesque@mander.xyzM to Science Memes@mander.xyzEnglish · 1 day ago
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  • McBB@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    Where is the rest of the paper? I need the rest

    • anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 hours ago

      Midnitte@beehaw.org posted it above

      https://jabde.com/2025/06/19/the-bark-defense-a-99-999-successful-method-for-keeping-emily-safe-from-strangers-and-garbage-trucks/

  • TryingSomethingNew@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Wheely fabric box? She was going to do laundry for 2 hours and he thought it was 2 weeks? Or is it something else?

    • Skydancer@pawb.social
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      7 hours ago

      A suitcase?

  • pigup@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

  • prunerye@slrpnk.net
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    1 day ago

    Wait, the dog doesn’t like Matt? That’s a huge red flag, Emily. Dogs know. Take it seriously.

    • Dessalines@lemmy.ml
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      1 day ago

      Dog’s gonna have to write another abstract on why matt should not be allowed to move in.

  • Midnitte@beehaw.org
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    1 day ago

    Here’s the full read

    Just look at that data…

    Now if only there was a way to negate the need for the bark defense… 😓

    • Dessalines@lemmy.ml
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      1 day ago

      Hard to argue with the threat matrix decision chart in there. Dog did sound research.

    • flora_explora@beehaw.org
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      1 day ago

      Nice, thanks!!

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    1 day ago

    Jokes aside, one of the best deterrents to break-ins is a dangerous-seeming dog.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      21 hours ago

      I live in a kind of steal-y neighborhood, and not that I got a big neurotic dog for this reason, but I haven’t had anything taken since Ronda and I teamed up.

  • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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    1 day ago

    Peer reviewed by my neighbour’s dog. She’d probably add “even if you see no threat, and even if you don’t give a fuck about humans, it’s better to bark anyway just to be safe”. Except in posh paper speech.

  • humanspiral@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    100% effective dragon and vampire repellant too.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      21 hours ago

      And terminators

      • humanspiral@lemmy.ca
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        19 hours ago

        Nope. Too many people making skynet. The dogs and goggles will do nothing.

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    LOL, that was my Akita when grandma (mom) took him. Long story, couldn’t keep him any longer. “Shalafi, I am NOT going to take that dog!” Well, she did. 130lbs. of black bear wandering around the house.

    After hip surgery: “Oh Shalafi! He’s just too big! He might knock me down!” Guess who got knocked down when I came home to visit. Beast knocked me flat while not laying so much as a whisker on her walker. Didn’t so much as brush her walker with that monster tail. In a 8’x 8’ entryway. That was something to witness. From the ground.

    “Oh he just barks and barks when strange men come around the house! I don’t know what to do with him!” Yeah, bet you hate having a dog with the lungs of a dragon going off at “strange men about the house”. 🙄 Yoshi sounded like some Resident Evil shit going down on the other side of the door.

    He did stress her out by plopping down on the freezing concrete patio and refusing to come in, even covered in snow. “Mom, they were raised in northern Japan to hunt bears. He’s LOVING this!” LOL, did not compute for her.

    And being an Akita, he was perfectly patient and loving with little ones. Slammed a bottle of gin and cried forever the night mom told me he was gone. Gods I got funny stories about that animal.

    • IndescribablySad@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I’m pouring one out for all the good ones we’ve lost along the way.

  • HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    99.999 recurring % lol

  • BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Bad news: this article was retracted for fraud after the journal discovered the author wasn’t actually a dog.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      13 hours ago

      He should’ve published it over the internet.

    • AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      It was written with the help of BarkGPT

      • Davel23@fedia.io
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        1 day ago

        ChienGPT.

      • Gork@sopuli.xyz
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        1 day ago

        Bark Great Pitbull Terrier

  • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Time to go home, Matt U ಠ ಠU

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      21 hours ago

      Hahaha

  • TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 day ago

    not enough about barking!

  • FromPieces@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 day ago

    Quality Post

  • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz
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    1 day ago

    Chewey Words not Keywords

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