I know opinions on this vary a lot depending on the country and culture, so I’m curious what others think. Personally, I have a 22-year-old son. I bought him a house and a car, I pay for his university tuition (his grades are high enough for a state-subsidized spot, but we feel that should go to someone more in need), and I basically support him fully. We want him to focus on his studies and enjoy this stage of his life. He will finish his dentistry degree in 2028, and then we plan to finance the opening of his private practice. We’ll stop providing financial support once he’s earning enough to live comfortably on his own. I see many parents online (especially in North America) talking about kids moving out at 18, paying rent to live at home, and covering their own bills, and it honestly shocks me. That feels unfathomable to me. I believe that as parents, we have a duty to give our children a good life since we brought them into this world.
It comes down to when is a child an independent adult, doesn’t it?
I plan to follow what my parents did: everyone goes to college (or trade school or service academy: let’s not get picky but more education will better prepare them for being an adult), and since they’re not independent adults, parents need to support them. I’m doing my best to cover their college expenses, provide a welcoming home when they’re here, basics of modern life like insurance Internet devices and a vehicle, while also trying to plan for a little bump when they need to get their first car and first apartment. That establishes them as independent adults!
It gets a little tougher when they “fail to launch”. Depending on the reasons and the amount of time, it can be a tough call between being their safety net and being their doormat. I can see mutually beneficial arrangements where they live at home, but the key word is “mutual”